Monthly Archives: April 2008

Things to do:

1. Buy Dunny
2. Repaint mural
3. Be awesome

As an avid fan of zombies and Dunnys, artist Patricio Oliver released his very own Zombie Pet Dunny. It glows in the dark too.

Cheese and rice look at that beauty, it was clearly MADE for me. I’ve got to get me that hunk of vinyl before it gets sold out.

Last year, I painted this funky looking mural in my bedroom (see photo below) and now I want to paint something else…really bad. I hate waking up to that every morning. I mean look at that, it’s a piece of joke! Only toddlers and hippies who get high will find my mural to be worth looking at.

I think I’ve gotten better so pretty sure I can give this badboy a nice upgrade.

I might want to paint one or two gigantic bodies on my wall, instead of doing multiple characters, albeit I’m not so sure what to paint yet. Any suggestions?

Tiff’s manuel on dating Tiff #2: Quit calling me.

I don’t feel like I have to owe an explanation to a guy that I don’t want to talk to anymore if I’ve only met him once or twice.

You see there was this guy I met a club a while ago who I thought was uber sexy, and a terrific dancer (if I might add). We talked on the phone a couple of days after we met, and well, it turns out that he was pretty dumb. That’s a turnoff, btw. I thought the blandness of our conversation on the phone was a clear sign that we didn’t match, so I didn’t expect him to call me again.

Well he did eventually. I screened his call, because it’s the only rational thing I could do. Based on the level of our relationship—which was zero (there was no relationship to begin with)—I was not obligated to inform him we’re not compatible with each other and that we shouldn’t talk anymore.

Yeah it would totally suck to find out that you’ve just been rejected, but since there was absolutely no commitment involved, you’re supposed to bust a Jay-Z move and brush that dirt off yo shoulders. Move on to something else and if I decide to call you back, fine, that’s great.

This guy ended up calling my phone every other day for about two weeks, and I never answered once.

Exactly what part are you not able to grasp? If I’m not taking any of your calls, it has to mean something. If I like you, I will return your call-yeah, no shit, right? It should be a no brainer but it’s not for some, unfortunately. I’m not some vulnerable kidnapped victim who’s locked in a dark basement all day anxiously waiting for someone from the outside world to call me. But apparently, psycho over here has no commonsense whatsoever, and decides to abuse my number as if he was trying to sell me Viagra.

Fuck that, I’m not down with creepy callers and I’m not down with Viagra either.

Sometimes persistence isn’t the best idea to follow. You just gotta let some shit slide, or else your reputation gets dumped into the abyss of humiliation, where the rest of the creeps go.

10 Awesome Facts

I’m going to play along and write “10 weird, random facts, habits, or goals” about myself since I was tagged by Melle.

I believe I have already written one a couple of months ago on Myspace, but I wouldn’t mind writing a new set since I can come up with a never ending list of things about myself. This is just only the beginning!

1. I’m a gay man trapped inside of a woman’s body.
I can’t tell you how many times people have told me that I should’ve been a guy. I don’t take it seriously, since it’s all based on male stereotypes. For example, I prefer the single life. I don’t like commitment. I don’t ever want to get married. My opinions might change as I get older, but at this rate, going solo is the way to go. Also, I get ready really fast when I go out. Typically, my daily regime before heading out would be to change my clothes, use the bathroom, and then put on some deodorant. There’s nothing to it.

2. I was every parent’s worst nightmare.
Because no one ever taught me right from wrong as a child, I established my own rules. Most people probably went through their “bad stage” in their teenage/high school years, I, on the other hand, started in kindergarten all the way up to fifth grade. My family never knew about most of the things I had done (since they never ask), they assumed I was an overall good kid, but I wasn’t. I was just good at hiding my childhood antics. After attending elementary school, I eventually matured and grew morals.

3. Lolcats are retarded.
It’s not exactly about me, but it’s an opinion of mine that I’ve been aching to spill out. Maybe it’s the fact that I generally don’t like cats, I don’t know, but they’re still retarded. Most of them fail miserably at being funny or adorable, buuutttt this was one of the rare exceptions. I giggled:

4. I have an excellent memory…except for names.
The earliest memory I have was at the age of two. I’m also great at remembering faces (since the age of two as well), but I’m terrible at remembering people’s names. I’ve always been. If you have no personality or you’re not good looking, I probably won’t remember your name.

5. I hate the taste of alcohol.
I find that to be a blessing. After one sip, I’m done with it-I can’t go any further than a single gulp of any kind of alcohol beverage. No matter how mixed the drink is my spidey senses always manages to detect it. You’d have to get me drunk to drink. Ha!

6. Honker nosed and proud of it.
I’m an Asian girl who, oddly enough, has a big nose. I know society finds small, pointed noses to be more attractive, but I like mine. I think it gives me character.

7. I’m a geek for conspiracy theories.
Yeah that’s right, I’m into it. I enjoy coming up with my own and I enjoy reading other conspiracies, though I’m usually not a firm believer of them. They’re great for debating, debunking, and reading. One of my personal favorites is, “somewhere, someone has their finger held precariously over a button that will decimate the planet.” –Some Yahoo! user.
It is simple yet frighteningly feasible.

8. I’m definitely not camera shy.
I don’t have a problem admitting the fact that I like having my pictures taken. If someone’s going to snap a photo of me, I’m more likely to bust a diva pose then to hide from the camera. I find it so hilarious when people try to run away or cover their faces when someone tries to take a photo of them. Relax you bunch of nerds it’s not a gun they’re aiming, it’s a camera.

9. I would never want to own an Ipod or any other mp3 player.
I get sick of songs real fast. I use to download music nonstop on my computer, but I ended up hating the songs, I couldn’t possibly use an Ipod and have my songs follow me everywhere I go. So now I prefer listening to the radio station, because it’s unpredictable, random and you’d feel good if they’re playing your favorite song.

10. I hate procrastinating!
I’ll finish this later.

Baby Art

My sister’s baby shower was today and overall I had a good time. I’m not going into the specifics, but one of the highlights was the baby shower game, “Make a Baby.”

Rule was simply to mold a baby out of play dough, and the mommy-to-be picks the best one.

And I thought I’d share the entries to you guys, since I find them to be QUITE the amusement!


(^ this was my favorite. it’s a crying baby sitting on it’s own piss, but unfortunately it is not the winning piece. WAH)


(he’s holding a crown, since the baby’s name is going to be Kingston)


(a mummified baby?)


(I see this one’s been working in a coal mine)


(this is one of those instances where you say, “wtf?”)

oh but it gets even more interesting…


(I guess they misunderstood my directions. How to Make a Baby: A woman, a man, and your customary whips and handcuffs)


(and the winner! though i still think the first 2nd one should have won. boooo)

hey fuck you spam

Why does the food that I love have the same name as unsolicited bulk messages that offer male enhancements?

I went grocery shopping today and saw the canned product, which instantly gave me a flashback of the good times I had when eating it…until it unexpectedly morphed into a massive penis made out of spam.

I can never look at Spam the same way again. :-/

Bugs are worthless.

I saw the coolest thing today.

I went to the bathroom just a couple of minutes ago, and the first thing I noticed was a silverfish hanging out on MY bathroom floor.

I hate silver fishes, ok? They’re disgusting and always leaving tiny holes in my papers and sweaters. Nothing would be more gratifying than to burn all silvershits to its death.

Well back to the story, I have a wad of toilet paper in my hand and I’m about ready to deck this guy. As I pull my arm back to deliver the blow, a small daddy long leg literally jumped out of nowhere and started to attack the silver fish.

The bug on bug collision was a great comical moment. Daddy long leg is struggling to keep its poise on the silver’s (for short) back, as if it was on a turbulent silverfish rodeo while silver is running in tiny circles, probably wanting to scream, “Get this whore off my back!” if he only had a voice.

In the end, daddy long leg fell off the horse, unfortunately, and silver escaped. But luckily, for the great human I am, superior to all animals and insects, I killed him. And I ended up killing the daddy long leg too for failing its job.

Diaper cake

First off, I have a new layout and it’s special. Why? Because the footer is the new header…haven’t you heard?

Second, I was offered a tutoring job for a particular graphic design class and I accepted it. This is absolutely fantastic for me, because graphic design is my major, so tutoring the subject will not only help the student but it will also help me improve AND this will be my third streak of never having to ask for a job (knock on wood).

Third, I made a diaper cake:

 

Yes, it’s made out of diapers. The cake is for my sister’s upcoming baby shower and it’s going to be like, a centerpiece for the shower. The great thing about this is it just doesn’t make the whole party look better, everything is usable, including the diapers.

A dream come true

One of my first entries on this site was about wanting to go to Comic Con in San Diego, and guess what motherfuckers? I’m GOING!

COMIC CON HERE I FUCKING COME!!

… in three months.

Tiff’s manual on dating Tiff#1: No tickle fights.

I think I’m going to start writing my own instructions or manual, if you will, on dating me. Let’s face it, I haven’t had the greatest dates in a while and I think it’s mostly the guy’s fault in this type of situations that I’m in.

If I strongly believe that whatever will make or break the date, then I will write about it, starting now:

#1 NO tickle fights.

That is the worst thing you can ever do to me so cut that shit out. When the guy is in the middle of tickling you and you’re screaming things like, “No, no, seriously, stop, stop it you asshole…” he takes it to the opposite extreme and says, “Oh yeeeeah?” and kicks it up a notch and gives you the kind of tickles your uncle would give to you as a child. And you know uncles, they’re one of the most brutal motherfuckers on the planet are they not?

Family matters. NOT.

Sometimes, I question the relationship I have with some of my siblings. We usually eat a nice dinner together once in a blue moon. Today was one of those dinner nights we had and it totally reaffirmed the lack of communication I have with them.

I almost forgot about how I’m always left out in most of the conversations they have. It’s not like I’m waiting for someone to ask me something (which they never!), rather I tend to interrupt them by blatantly spilling out my opinions on something they were talking about, but they completely ignore it.

Uh.

What bullshit is that?! Maybe it’s because I’m the youngest. I don’t know, but I would not have an ounce of guilt inside of me if I were to lose contact with them forever, since the contact was barely even there in the first place.