Bugs are worthless.
I saw the coolest thing today.
I went to the bathroom just a couple of minutes ago, and the first thing I noticed was a silverfish hanging out on MY bathroom floor.
I hate silver fishes, ok? They’re disgusting and always leaving tiny holes in my papers and sweaters. Nothing would be more gratifying than to burn all silvershits to its death.
Well back to the story, I have a wad of toilet paper in my hand and I’m about ready to deck this guy. As I pull my arm back to deliver the blow, a small daddy long leg literally jumped out of nowhere and started to attack the silver fish.
The bug on bug collision was a great comical moment. Daddy long leg is struggling to keep its poise on the silver’s (for short) back, as if it was on a turbulent silverfish rodeo while silver is running in tiny circles, probably wanting to scream, “Get this whore off my back!” if he only had a voice.
In the end, daddy long leg fell off the horse, unfortunately, and silver escaped. But luckily, for the great human I am, superior to all animals and insects, I killed him. And I ended up killing the daddy long leg too for failing its job.
It’s you! Aw I <3 Domo Kun!
Reply
ROFLMAO!!!!!
For some stupid reason ants are running around my apartment like they have nothing better to do. It’s because of the amazing sunny/warm weather and they think there’s some yogi bear picnic in here worthy of crawling through cement and plaster to get to.
Even though it is sadistic, I do not blame you for smooshing bugs. They just haven’t figured it out by now, if they are the only bug of their kind hanging out in such an open area like a bathroom wall–there’s probably a good reason; they’re going to get their asses smooshed if they expose themselves. I thought natural selection would have fixed such stupidity. Wait, that’s another story, since natural selection has yet to deal with some idiot boys.
Reply
Also, I must add. Your blog is officially one of my favorites. I haven’t had a good laugh all day, and I loved this post. Thank you!
Reply
Ugh! I hate daddy longlegs!! They’re absolutely horrible. I would have killed it too. I have no idea what a silver fish looks like (I actually thought you were talking about a real fish) but I would have killed it too.
Reply
LOL, wtf. I don’t kill spiders but silverfish are nasty. And it’s so creepy how they crawl and wiggle around. EW.
Reply
Hahaha, that was a great story. I didn’t even know what a silverfish was, but when I looked it up just now… I know EXACTLY what it is. Yuckkkkk. Yay for killing them both. Speaking of bug vs bug battles: http://www.japanesebugfights.com – hahahah. Creepy, disgusting, but kinda interesting in a way.
Reply
ROFL that was a great story.
Reply
lol. me i hate black ants running around the bathroom too and sometimes they eat your toothpaste. lol.
Reply
Lol omg that is prob one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.. I’ve never seen a bug fight before. I know I’d be freaked out though because when I see a bug, I have to stand at least 5m away from it. =S
Reply
HAHA freaken tiff! you had me laughin all alone in the living room. my bf walked by like.. and gave me a wtf? look. he’s like babe.. you use the computer wayyy too much.
Reply