My sister’s baby shower was today and overall I had a good time. I’m not going into the specifics, but one of the highlights was the baby shower game, “Make a Baby.”

Rule was simply to mold a baby out of play dough, and the mommy-to-be picks the best one.

And I thought I’d share the entries to you guys, since I find them to be QUITE the amusement!

(^ this was my favorite. it’s a crying baby sitting on it’s own piss, but unfortunately it is not the winning piece. WAH)

(he’s holding a crown, since the baby’s name is going to be Kingston)

(a mummified baby?)

(I see this one’s been working in a coal mine)

(this is one of those instances where you say, “wtf?”)

oh but it gets even more interesting…

(I guess they misunderstood my directions. How to Make a Baby: A woman, a man, and your customary whips and handcuffs)

(and the winner! though i still think the first 2nd one should have won. boooo)

Why does the food that I love have the same name as unsolicited bulk messages that offer male enhancements?

I went grocery shopping today and saw the canned product, which instantly gave me a flashback of the good times I had when eating it…until it unexpectedly morphed into a massive penis made out of spam.

I can never look at Spam the same way again. :-/

I saw the coolest thing today.

I went to the bathroom just a couple of minutes ago, and the first thing I noticed was a silverfish hanging out on MY bathroom floor.

I hate silver fishes, ok? They’re disgusting and always leaving tiny holes in my papers and sweaters. Nothing would be more gratifying than to burn all silvershits to its death.

Well back to the story, I have a wad of toilet paper in my hand and I’m about ready to deck this guy. As I pull my arm back to deliver the blow, a small daddy long leg literally jumped out of nowhere and started to attack the silver fish.

The bug on bug collision was a great comical moment. Daddy long leg is struggling to keep its poise on the silver’s (for short) back, as if it was on a turbulent silverfish rodeo while silver is running in tiny circles, probably wanting to scream, “Get this whore off my back!” if he only had a voice.

In the end, daddy long leg fell off the horse, unfortunately, and silver escaped. But luckily, for the great human I am, superior to all animals and insects, I killed him. And I ended up killing the daddy long leg too for failing its job.