I love watching stand-up comedy, especially live, but every time I see a woman comic walk up to the stage, my face starts to cringe because I already know it’s going to blow.

I’m not saying that women in general are not funny. I know funny women personally.  I know funny women who write funny things…but they can’t tell a good joke.

I hate to be rude, but fuck, women comics aren’t that great to watch and they never once made me laugh out loud to a point where my stomach started hurting.  They made me chuckle a few times, but it’s only out of politeness, and I’m pretty sure I laugh a lot more when someone farts.

The last time I was at Hollywood Improv, there was actually one incident there when a woman told a joke that was actually funnier than hearing farts. I’m pretty sure she said something like (I don’t even remember the exact quote!), “I met a guy a bar and he told me that he doesn’t like sensitive girls so I stabbed him.” LAWL. But the rest of her jokes were lame, and it consisted of pmsing, sex and her mother.

I’m not completely close-minded when it comes to them.  I always give the benefit of the doubt.  Like, lately, I’ve been checking out female comedians on Youtube…but after watching some of them, I rather very much watch somebody throw a turd up against the ceiling.

Why won’t he marry me? Why won’t he propose?! Awwww WAH! Shat up. Pressuring someone to do something they’re not ready to is always bad news, so stop pressuring them or else, later down the road, they’ll find themselves asking:

Man, google sure knows everything. Speaking of the internet knowing shit, GenderAnalyzer.com can tell whether your blog was written by a man or woman. I entered my website in and received:

Why that is correct GenderAnalyzer, I am indeed a woman! I’ve been entering in most of my friends’ blogs, and GenderAnalyzer guessed every one of them correctly…except for one of my art teacher’s blog. He received 95% woman. Um….HAHA!

What did you get?

And if anyone cares, I went shopping today and bought a burger keychain (I was actually serious about collecting burger items), A Jason Voorhees plushie (I’m starting to collect toys from Cinema of Fear), and a pink plaided Ushanka (I collect awesome hats). Basically, I’m a collector of sorts, and today was my lucky collecting day.

Is there such a word that means the opposite of writer’s block? Because I think I’m getting it and I feel like I have to get it all out of my system before my head blows up. I have 101 things I want to talk about and right now, nothing would be more fulfilling than to sit in front of my computer all day and just type away.

Sadly, it’s going to be a busy day for me, so I can’t really release my inner beast of nonstop, hardcore mad typage. Maybe some other time, but I will make this one brief (since it’s a “what-I-did-on-the-weekends” type of entry).

My Avex audition, which was last Sunday, didn’t go according to plan…haha. I had a prepared monologue that I wrote myself, studied it for a couple of days, and thought that I had it in the bag. I rehearsed right before it was my time to audition; everything seemed pretty peachy…up until I went on stage!

I completely forgot everything I had memorized when I was up in front of the panel. I was basically making shit up as I went! The talent search is going to be in New York this weekend, so I don’t think I’m going to find out whether I move to the next level or not for a couple of weeks.

Oh yeah, and the audition was held at that mall on Hollywood Blvd, next to the Chinese theater. When I was there, there was like, a red carpet event for the dvd release of Kung Fu Panda going on during my audition, and it took place right outside of the mall.  I didn’t know this until the day after but…fucking Angelina Jolie was there! And I could’ve seen her hotness in person, after my audition….FUCK!

Right after my audition, I had to go to a photoshoot for the last film that I was in.  The photographer (the guy holding the guns in the picture) took some great photos of the cast and myself. There were over 600 frames shot, but I only have about five of them! Gah! I want the rest gawdamnit!

More in the Flickr.

This is probably the only survey where I answered with much more seriousness and much less facetiousness.

They’re not asking for your favorite band, what your last text message said, or the color of your underwear!

They’re not asking for anything specific, so I guess it gives you a little more freedom to say whatever you want, as long as it relates to the question.

…

1. I’ve come to realize that my boobs…
doesn’t  pass the unwritten cup size requirement to be considered as “boobs”.

2. I’ve come to realize that when I talk…
I usually smile, even if I’m pissed off or sad (there are many different ways of smiling!) I usually don’t realize that I’m doing it until people bring it up, it just comes out on its own.

3. I’ve come to realize that when you love someone…
(family and friends) you don’t let them borrow money, you let them have it, and don’t expect anything in return.

4. I’ve come to realize that I need…
to meet people who believe in the same/similar things that I do, spiritually and morally. I am definitely satisfied with the people that I have in my life right now, but there’s always room for more! And It’s tough to stand by your beliefs when no one else around you really understands it.

5. I’ve come to realize that I have lost…
a part of my innocence. I guess it’s all a part of growing up. Funny how it’s only going to get smaller and smaller, and you can never get it back, as you get older.

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when…
the “friends” I try to get to know better never fills me in on their lives and they’re always so vague and short about it. I don’t need to know your whole life story, but at least tell me what you did on the weekends or a project that you’re working on, so I can learn something about you.

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk….
I’d probably get really sleepy.

8. I’ve come to realize that money …
is usually not an issue for me. *knocks on wood* Since i kind of don’t have a job at the moment, i find creative ways to make them.

9. I’ve come to realize that kids…
are precious darlings, and yes, a handful of them can be freaking annoying or vicious (they’re kids! and blame it on their parents), but I can see myself having them in the future, and I’m pretty sure I’d make a good mommy.

10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always be…
emotionally isolated from my immediate family.

11. I’ve come to realize that I have a crush on…
nobody! I guess it’s a little more than that now.

12. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone is…
possessed. The alarm goes off when it’s not suppose to go off.

13. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning…
I was blowing my nose, coughing, and spitting out loogies left and right. Ew…

14. I’ve come to realize that before I go to sleep at night..
I check my phone for missed calls and unread texts, and then I mute the ring sound. Alarm still goes off though…how rude.

15. I’ve come to realize that right now I am…
not as attached as I was before.

16. I’ve come to realize that when I get on MySpace…
I’m hoping to see “New Picture Comments!”, “New Comments!”, “New Blog Comments!” and/ “New Messages!”

17. I’ve come to realize that today…
“is a gift, and that tomorrow is not promised”

18. I’ve come to realize that tonight I will…
sleep like a baby. I was prescribed this cough medicine that was supposedly really strong, and it’s going to knock me out cold once I take a sip of it.

19. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow I will…
be bitchy, apparently. It’s one of the side effects from my cough medicine, along with constipation.

20. I’ve come to realize that I really want to….
take absolute advantage of my youth before settling down. Road trip…anybody?

It is our first worldwide audition seeking for talents not only in Japan but all over the world.  The talents we are looking for are Japan-based world class entertainers…Grand prize winners are promised to be fully supported to have a wide range of performance opportunities, including CD debut, acting in movies, and appearing in commercials, under an exclusive contract with the Avex group.

So I have an audition with them tomorrow morning.  There are five different entry categories, and (obviously) I’m going for acting.  Man…I really, really, really don’t want to screw this one up.

Wish me luck!!!

Alright…so I was only half-joking about being Snow White. I was actually planning to dress up as a zombie version of her, and I did!

A couple of days after writing that post, I stained the costume with spray paint,  splattered it with fake blood, destroyed it, and took Helga’s advice by showing SOME skin.

(Helga’s advice: LOL PLZ SLUTTIFY THE SNOW WHITE GOWN KTHX SHOW SOME TIFF TITS OR TIFF LEGS)

My Halloween night was pretty awesome. On Halloween Eve, I did goto a club, and during my time there, it reconfirmed why I hated clubs so much (future post). But the club wasn’t that shitty! I ended up unintentionally scaring a lot of broads at the club. I’d be dancing with my friends, and out of no where, I’d hear screams coming from next to me, only to find out that they were screaming because of me.

Being at the club = boring

but…scaring people at da club = win

Since the club kind of blows, we went to back to a friend’s house and played beer pong, and lots of it, until 5 A.M. It was actually my first time playing that game (I normally don’t drink)…and I think it was my first time getting drunk too.

This might be a stupid question, but…how do you know when you’re drunk?

Everything seemed a little shaky, so I did bump into a few things.  I was 100% aware of what I was doing, but my judgment might have been tweaked a little…hahaha.

I’d like to say I was really, really buzzed and borderline drunk, but I think I’m in denial.

On Halloween night, I went to a house party with a different group of friends, and it was way better and way funner than the the previous night. I didn’t drink at all either, so I do prefer sobriety over drunk…ness, any day.