I love watching stand-up comedy, especially live, but every time I see a woman comic walk up to the stage, my face starts to cringe because I already know it’s going to blow.

I’m not saying that women in general are not funny. I know funny women personally.  I know funny women who write funny things…but they can’t tell a good joke.

I hate to be rude, but fuck, women comics aren’t that great to watch and they never once made me laugh out loud to a point where my stomach started hurting.  They made me chuckle a few times, but it’s only out of politeness, and I’m pretty sure I laugh a lot more when someone farts.

The last time I was at Hollywood Improv, there was actually one incident there when a woman told a joke that was actually funnier than hearing farts. I’m pretty sure she said something like (I don’t even remember the exact quote!), “I met a guy a bar and he told me that he doesn’t like sensitive girls so I stabbed him.” LAWL. But the rest of her jokes were lame, and it consisted of pmsing, sex and her mother.

I’m not completely close-minded when it comes to them.  I always give the benefit of the doubt.  Like, lately, I’ve been checking out female comedians on Youtube…but after watching some of them, I rather very much watch somebody throw a turd up against the ceiling.

Why won’t he marry me? Why won’t he propose?! Awwww WAH! Shat up. Pressuring someone to do something they’re not ready to is always bad news, so stop pressuring them or else, later down the road, they’ll find themselves asking:

Man, google sure knows everything. Speaking of the internet knowing shit, GenderAnalyzer.com can tell whether your blog was written by a man or woman. I entered my website in and received:

Why that is correct GenderAnalyzer, I am indeed a woman! I’ve been entering in most of my friends’ blogs, and GenderAnalyzer guessed every one of them correctly…except for one of my art teacher’s blog. He received 95% woman. Um….HAHA!

What did you get?

And if anyone cares, I went shopping today and bought a burger keychain (I was actually serious about collecting burger items), A Jason Voorhees plushie (I’m starting to collect toys from Cinema of Fear), and a pink plaided Ushanka (I collect awesome hats). Basically, I’m a collector of sorts, and today was my lucky collecting day.

Is there such a word that means the opposite of writer’s block? Because I think I’m getting it and I feel like I have to get it all out of my system before my head blows up. I have 101 things I want to talk about and right now, nothing would be more fulfilling than to sit in front of my computer all day and just type away.

Sadly, it’s going to be a busy day for me, so I can’t really release my inner beast of nonstop, hardcore mad typage. Maybe some other time, but I will make this one brief (since it’s a “what-I-did-on-the-weekends” type of entry).

My Avex audition, which was last Sunday, didn’t go according to plan…haha. I had a prepared monologue that I wrote myself, studied it for a couple of days, and thought that I had it in the bag. I rehearsed right before it was my time to audition; everything seemed pretty peachy…up until I went on stage!

I completely forgot everything I had memorized when I was up in front of the panel. I was basically making shit up as I went! The talent search is going to be in New York this weekend, so I don’t think I’m going to find out whether I move to the next level or not for a couple of weeks.

Oh yeah, and the audition was held at that mall on Hollywood Blvd, next to the Chinese theater. When I was there, there was like, a red carpet event for the dvd release of Kung Fu Panda going on during my audition, and it took place right outside of the mall.  I didn’t know this until the day after but…fucking Angelina Jolie was there! And I could’ve seen her hotness in person, after my audition….FUCK!

Right after my audition, I had to go to a photoshoot for the last film that I was in.  The photographer (the guy holding the guns in the picture) took some great photos of the cast and myself. There were over 600 frames shot, but I only have about five of them! Gah! I want the rest gawdamnit!

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