When I find something bad or annoying about one of my friends that could possibly be detrimental to our friendship, I have no problem bringing the subject up to them just so we can resolve the issue. However, there is one particular “friend” who I can’t stand and I don’t have the balls to bring it up only because the “issue” that I have with her isn’t that bad or serious, but at the same time, I can’t stand it, I’ve been purposely screening her calls and ignoring her messages, and as cruel as this may sound, I don’t have a problem if we lose contact with each other entirely.
The main problem I have with her is that she hogs every friggin conversation and she never shuts up to let you talk. Every conversation I’ve had with that motormouth has only been one-way communication: One person speaks and no feedback is allowed. She definitely possesses some good traits, like, she can be fun and entertaining because of her feisty personality and she’s an incredibly intelligent person, but her own mouth outweighs the goods by a whopping landslide, it’s unfortunate.
Don’t get me wrong, in certain situations, it is okay to just listen and simply allow the other person to spill their beans to you, but it absolutely cannot be that way all the time. In a normal discussion, it is common sense to talk and pause every minute or so to let the other person talk and/ give their feedback and vice-versa, but she, on the other hand, doesn’t understand that!
It is so bad that if I want to say something, I always have to interrupt her.
It is so bad that when I interrupt her, she interrupts me right away.
It is so bad that I’m blogging about this.
So here’s how our conversation would look (er…or “sound”?) like in a nutshell:
Motormouth: Timmy and I are dating now. He’s so sweet! One time, I got this text message from him and it said, “I wurv you a lot and I miss your feets”. And I’m like, “That is so cute. I’m going to save this text…forever.”
Me: Aw-
Mouth: I miss him so much. Man, I can’t wait to see him tomorrow. Oh yeah, and then school’s pretty stressful-
Me: Mm hm
Mouth: I have to study for two tests. I’m working on one project and writing a five-page essay about sea sponges-
Me: Hey sea sponges are-
Mouth: it’s pretty aggravating because sponges aren’t that fun to write about. I mean what do they do? Nothing really. I rather write about killer whales and dolphins-
Me: Mm hm
Mouth: They mobile and stuff, as oppose to sponges. Sponges…I wash my dishes with them-
Me: You know-
Mouth: Dude, there’s this cool show I went to the other day-
HOLD UP. NO HOLD UP. JUST HOLD UP MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER MOUTH. I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
Yeah, I’m not really sure how to bring this up to her. I don’t like the idea of ignoring her phone calls, but I feel it’s the most “reasonable” thing to do, since it’s not that big of an issue.
We’re going to bump into each other at one point or another, and when that time comes, she’s probably going to ask for an explanation due my um…absense haha.
Any advices?
I laughed at the way that conversation went… and then again at the “mighty morphin power ranger mouth” part. Hahahha, you’re crazy. I kind of have an aunt like that. It’s hard to get a word in, and her voice is LOUD too. It’s annoying. She knows it though. I don’t know what I’d do in your position though. I’d try to tell her, maybe she can… change that. Maybe not, I don’t know. I hated when my ex-lovah would interrupt me when I was talking about something – he’d interrupt about something completely different. And it’s not that I talked a lot and wouldn’t let him get words in… but let me finish wtf I was saying. LOL. I told him that annoyed me, and we’re still cool. So yeah, try to tell her… if she lets you. Hahahah. Nah, but it’s better than screening the calls or whatever. Then if it doesn’t change or if she reacts HORRIBLY too it… you got it off your chest and/or she might end all contact with you. Win/win, right?
I don’t know if any of that made sense, but I don’t feel like backspacing and possibly rewording. SO TOUGH! Oh and… I WANT TO PLAY L4D REALLY BAD. My friend tells me how it’s the most horrible game ever, but wtfever… I think it looks dope! ZOMBIES, I WANT TO KILL THEM!
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Sadly to say, I have a few friends in real life who are exactly like that. I hate it when they kept interrupting me while I am speaking. One day, I just couldn’t take it anymore so I asked the other person, “Do you think you can let me finish my sentence from now on?” She was so embarrassed but from then on it got better. She actually learns to listen and not talk so much about herself that much anymore.
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Tiff Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Ah, that’s a good idea!
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BHAAHAHAHAA, I laughed pretty hard when I read this!! De-friending a friend… that’s the first I’ve heard and it won’t be the last for sure!! I know what you mean though!! My office manager interrupts me like crazy, but I poke fun at her afterwards… or then I start saying “look, I got the highlighter here so I get to talk” hahaha.
But I got a friend who I am slowly screening as well… for other reasons than interrupting of course. It’s the “self-righteous” reason of why I’m starting and slowly screening her out.
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Could it be possible that she doesn’t even notice she’s doing it? Perhaps if you just nicely brought it up with her, and made her aware of exactly what she’s doing, she’d make an effort to change it? Some people are honestly just clueless.
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Tiff Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Yeah, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know what she’s doing. The only problem is how to bring it up…
lol
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I get annoyed at people so easily too that I’m so thankful I don’t see them often because when I do see them, there is less tension. I think being around certain people for long amounts of time just drive you CRAZY!! Like when my friends and I go on vacations together; I always get sooo pissed off because some of them are so lazy and inconsiderate and they never clean or at least take charge in cleaning. Once we left a dirty pot in the sink to see if they would wash it on the morning we were leaving since they NEVER do the dishes unless we ask her (a billion times) … it was in there the whole time and this girl was in the kitchen the whole time using the sink or something and didn’t even bother to wash the pot when it was in her way. Uggh it makes me sooooo mad thinking about it. I hate going on vacation with lazy bitches! Hahah totally unrelated to your entry but yeah. =P
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i think you should just sit there and listen to her talk for a few minutes then whip out duck tape and tape it over her face and then you can say “now you know how i feel when you keep talking” then you talk about your day and just leave her with the duck tape on her mouth and walk away.
^_^
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LOLOLOLOL there’s this “friend” (quotation marks because I dont really consider her a friend, just someone I hung out with a handful of times, but she thinks of me as a friend) who annoys the shit out of me. She’s a dense, clingy idiot and I avoid her and when we ~do~ interact, I’m rude. It’s bad, I know
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My advice? Don’t defriend the friend. Yes, she’s annoying. Yes, she can be selfish. Yes , sometimes friends of yours can drive you nuts.
Listen, if you tell her that she’s impossible to talk with, she’ll be insulted. Openness amongst friends is sometimes not the best option. I’ve tried to delicately bring shit up like that and it never works.
Just tell her you’ve been super busy. Just tell her not to freak out if you don’t call her back. Let her know, “Sorry if it takes awhile to call back. I’ve been way stressed out recently.” Talk to her, let her rant and rave until she’s happy and there.
I don’t propose rectifying the situation. In essence, you are “defriending” her, but you’ll stay on good terms. Very good terms. Talk to her, I’d say, every other month. Text her maybe once a week. Don’t let her get the chance to become clingy.
You may be ditching her as a friend, but she’ll continue to be your ally and that’s hugely important, so as to have good karma out there.
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jeez. people that do like that should be hung by their feet out of a window. in finland. in wintertime.
my two-years-ago boyfriend used to do that. it lasted two months, then i left him, and one of the reasons was that he was always fucking interrupting me, and to say nothing interesting at all. it’s so annoying.
i had a friend too, she used to call me on the phone and talk talk talk talk tiritalk. i used to leave the phone on the bed and go and have a shower, or a sandwich, or listen to my i-pod. sometimes she said “don’t you agree?” and i was like “oh yeah, sure”. luckily, we’re not friends anymore
advice? throw her out the window. life is short and you have no time to waste listening to somebody’s nonsense/nonstop talking. i know it’s a bit brutal, but if you think about karma, you can always balance it by listening to a friend that actually returns the favor. it’s friendship, for heaven’s sake, not a charity.
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Tiff Reply:
December 12th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
bahaha i found this to be funny
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viola Reply:
December 13th, 2008 at 7:06 am
it was partially meant to be.
i did have a blast indeed!
(i do love leopard print too.leopards are the coolest felines in the world!)
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I had a co-worker who was like that, everytime I had an eight hour shift with her I was destined for a headache at the end of the day. She was so absorbed in her own world. Unfortunately, I just started ignoring her little by little until she got the message…it was an unpleasant thing to do but she was unpleasant to be around when she was in the moment of verbal diarrhea. I guess with a friend its a little tricker, I think the best thing to do to save your friendship is to tell her the truth. Maybe, tell her that she’s talk too fast and too much and its sometimes hard to follow. Then inject what you need to say and tell her “by the way I want to tell you something…” Sometimes they’ll get curious and you might get a moment of peace.
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ok u should just defriend her period.
if she talks about her boyfriend like that ( i stopped reading after the “wuv my feet?” section) she’s done for. girls who are that obsessed with their boyfriends aren’t cool. they have no self control and have no personality, they have given up everything for a boyfriend.
b/c when they break up u’ll be there to clean up the mess,
nod with me
it’s gonna happen and we both know it..
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Just call her on it. “Ay yo, it’s MYYY MFing turn to SPEAK” works wonders for me. LOL.
I’m guilty of cutting people but I only do it when I’m passionate about the topic (like if I’m talking about a previous episode of Gossip Girl or something in school) I’m talking about with friends, family, and the boyfriend and always apologize when I cut them off. But yeah, I never talk over them if their asking for advice.
But if she sucks as a friend, maybe it’s not worth fixing.
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