My older brother is truly the hardest person ever to shop for because he doesn’t like anything. I mean, really, this guy can be an asswipe. He likes basically nothing and he’s brutally honest about it. The best compliment he has ever used was “it’s alright”…but I’m not really sure.
I was having a lot of trouble figuring what I should get him for Christmas until I remembered that one of the extremely few things he actually likes are fishes and aquariums. Yeah, what a nerd. So yesterday, I went to a pet store and bought him a really cool fake rusty-antiquey looking anchor that I thought would look really awesome in his aquarium.
Last night, he had gotten home from his vacation in Big Bear and Vegas. Him and his girlfriend eventually came into my room to give me the presents from them to open. I ended up getting a book, perfume, and an air freshener. I was excited about it.
After I had opened up my presents and had thank them muchly, I handed him the bag that contained his gift.
He opened the bag, took out his anchor and looked at it with a half-assed grin on his face.
“It’s something for your fish tank,” I smiled, also half-assed. “I thought an anchor would look really neat!”
“Aww, that’s really nice,” his girlfriend told me.
“I’m not going to use it,” replied my brother, the asswipe.
(five seconds of awkward and ever so humiliating silence)
“Well…I-uh-um…can I have it back then?” I gave out my hand, desperately trying not to look bothered. “I like it! I can use it for my bedroom. Yeah.”
He handed the failed Christmas present to me, and I walked away, in shame.
Frankly, I’m a little butt-hurt, but in a way, it was a good thing. For if it wasn’t his cold and bleak honesty, the anchor would’ve been thrown right into the trash, never to be seen by humanity again. Instead, it is in my bedroom, safely displayed on top of my dresser for all to see:
But uh anyways…Merry Christmas and happy holidays everybody!
LMAO @ the Christmas fail..but at least you put some thought into it. I agree that it would look pretty cool in an aquarium, but theres just no pleasing some people I guess.
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That’s actually really sad. Tears. Copious tears ran down my face. Not really, but seriously, that’s extremely thoughtful (three adjectives in one sentence? fail!).
Here’s what you buy him next time: A present and a dildo. When he asks, “Why the dildo?” you can tell him, “If you don’t like the present, you can go fuck yourself.”
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Wendy Reply:
December 26th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Rofl ! I completely agree, what an awesome idea.
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Uhh, why’s your brother such an asshole?
LOL If someone dared to do that to me .. No, they wouldn’t. They just wouldn’t.
Honestly you shouldn’t let your brother make you feel like that! You went out of your way
desperately searching for a gift he’d like just for him to be ungrateful. Christmas isn’t about that, and even if you’re disappointed the POLITE thing to do is to smile and thank them.
GOSH.
That makes me so mad! Your brother and I would never get along, lmao.
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Your brother is a real ass.
But you handled it pretty well; if someone said that I would’ve cracked the shits and stormed out.
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wow, your brothers an ass.
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…Wow. I would not respond to that nearly as gracefully. A month or so before Christmas, I told my sister I had finished shopping for her. She responded, “Well, what did you get? I need to know so I can tell you whether or not to return it and get me something I actually want in time for Christmas.” I told her she’ll find out on Christmas Day, and that if she didn’t like it, that was her problem. Fortunately, she loved her gifts, despite not having told me to get them for her. Had she said anything resembling what your brother did, she would have promptly been told off. Just sayin’…
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Oh well…don’t get so upset about it..at least now you can put it to good use!
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[...] him is growing older, thus making the conclusion of the film to be inevitable. My brother (yes, the guy who didn’t like my Christmas gift) said it was one of the movie’s major flaws, but I beg to differ. Knowing the outcome of the film [...]
if i had a relative, or anyone else, saying something like that to me, i would probably shove the anchor, the fish, the fake seaweed and all the water up their ass.
it’s not about the present! it’s about you thinking for days to something he might like!
grr.
[i really can't have a blast twice on the same blog... but your posts have this strange effect on me, lmao]
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lol it looks cool just keep it haha
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