Tiff in Real Life
I’m going to let you in on a little story that had just randomly popped up in my head today, and I’m going to write this down because there’s a point to it, so stick with me here.
Last year I met a guy on MySpace. Let’s call him John. John liked watching my YouTube videos (I don’t have them anymore); he also liked reading my blogs since he found most of them to be “raw”, abrasive and direct. Because of that, we then started to exchange messages on MySpace and talked on AIM for a bit.
He was going to fly to Los Angeles to visit his friends there, and since I live about 45 minutes away he suggested that we meet up. He seemed pretty cool. He was smarter than most guys I’ve encountered, and he was funny and interesting, mostly in a vulgar condescending sexist way, so I figured, “Sure why not?”
The day that he arrived to LA was the day before I leave to Boston and New York, obviously we didn’t have much of a choice to pick a date. So during the only day in which we were available to hang out, I brought a friend along, and he did the same. We met up at the beach, and things are already off to a bad start.
I couldn’t get him to open up. I asked him questions that never made it to a full on conversation. I threw in random jokes and funny comments here and there in attempt to break away from the awkward tension. But something seemed off about him. The way that he played with his thumbs, the way that he sat in his chair, and the way that he glanced at other people made it appear as if he was simply waiting and expecting something else from me, something specific. I just had to find what it was to unravel the John I knew online, but I never did. I gave up anyway since he made no efforts either.
We ended the day with an awkward and unsatisfying taste left in my mouth (and probably his too) but luckily, we both had vacations to look forward to. So that weird and uncomfortable incident I had to endure was moved to the side… I had a gawddamn vacation to enjoy.
When we both got back from our trips we eventually talked about it. I told him that I was disappointed when we first met up. He felt the same way, and the reason being he was expecting a different side of me, and he didn’t get it.
Oh…so he was expecting something else.
We talked some more and I later found out that he was anticipating meeting the bad-mannered-cursing-like-a-sailor-who-is-pissed-off-at-everybody Tiff like he reads in my blogs and watches in my videos but ended up with the Tiff who is completely normal and slightly dorky on occasions because she spouts her favorite movie quotes and laughs at her own jokes.
So the point of the story is: If you meet me in person and expect me to tell you to go fuck yourself and everybody else in the world because I’m supposedly angry and abrasive all the time, then you would surely be disappointed.
Why?
Because I’m not socially retarded. In “real life” I’m pretty nice, polite, and likable. I’m not blunt. I don’t creep people out. I try to avoid confrontations. I treat everyone with respect. I don’t freeload off of people’s food. And I certainly don’t go off on a tangent listing my aversions then go into detail on why they piss me off unless you ask for my opinion.
Sometimes I do swear. Sometimes I say “fuck” more than Orange County people say “like” but it really depends who I’m talking to and how comfortable they are with my use of profanity.
My writings can sometimes be different from the way I am perceived in person because I usually don’t describe what I do on a day to day basis (unless something funny/weird/interesting happened, but my life is pretty much normal). That shit bores me and I’d probably end up typing myself to sleep if I wrote how I walked the dog and then studied for a Biology test while eating Mac n Cheese. When writing, I tend to pick out the ones in which I have fun writing about. I write for myself and I let everyone in. I do it at my own pace. No expectations. No courtesies. No politeness. Just me.
That’s the problem when it comes to meeting up with the people you get to know online…too many expectations were built up before the face-to-face meeting. It is best to just meet with minimum expectation. I met my husband through an online forum and our first meeting was a bit awkward as well, but we persisted and luckily for us, things went more smoothly at subsequent dates.
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Tiff Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:23 pm
Agreed. I guess I don’t blame him for having such high expectations. That’s another reason why I had to post this entry, it’s just another way for me to say, “Just to clarify, I don’t bite!”
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heheh online meetups. ive had a couple of those, i met my webhost, and even had a couple peeps come visit me all the way in the east coast since for some odd reason all you bloggers are in the west. -=T
i never really had an awkward moment always enjoyed meeting someone new.
people use to bash online hookups but its so common now.. so i guess its a new generation. ill stick with the old ways though hahaha. ask for her number first before hitting her up on facebook hahaha. ^_-
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Tiff Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Online “hookups” are VERY common now.
I can finally say, “Oh, I’ve met this guy from a dating site” without getting weird looks from other people.
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o and no i don’t just freelance.
i work for http://www.rga.com
im a visual designer for nike ^_^
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It really, really is commonplace to meet online friends. The FIRST person I ever met from online is still a great friend of mine. Whenever she’s in my neck of the woods or if I’m vacationing in the great northwest, we grab a bite to eat and laugh our asses off.
I met another person online and it was a Jesus, Mother Mary, hobbling Christ on a crutch disaster.
Dude that you met sounds like he wanted to meet someone to be angry with. It’s fun to read angry blogs, but if someone’s always going, “You know what I hate?” it gets real old, real quick. Pretty soon, you realize they hate everything. “I hate bat screeches. More like little squeaks if you ask me.” “I hate underdone food.” “I hate walking.” “Breathing is retarded.” “Why does my fucking head itch?!”
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Ah, sadly that is the truth about some people though! Not everyone who has an online life carries living in the same manner in the offline life. I definitely would love to meet you some day, because even though the raw attitude can come across online better than offline, that doesn’t mean that you SHOULD carry yourself in the same way in real life. Unfortunately, I’m a bit more consistent with both online and offline life, but online, of course, I can be more daring to be someone who I’m not, I have more guts to speak my mind online than offline, but they are all reasons and circumstances that we as bloggers understand as well. ^_^
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I don’t know about you, but I’ve met people off the internet before and I was nervous nelly. I remember my lip shaking continuously once and me wondering if it was visable. His name was Bartek. He WAS a real nice guy, and then he became jealous because I talked to guys over counter-strike, then he turned into the classic two faced asshole. He had a little side of creeper and a little obsessive.
Lets thank the fact that “John” was pretty real from the start so you knew to hitch hike it out of that mess!
Your blog is one of the few that quickly caught my attention, I like how it’s different and you talk about what your true opinions are instead of going along with everyone else. It’s unique.
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i’m glad i found your blog, it’s really interesting @ funny! this post in particular really made me think… it’s true, because online when i blog, it’s not always how i act in real life.
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Yeah I am pretty sure I’m different online and in person.. you can’t expect everything at once, but with time i think that “other side” will reveal itself.
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My online personality is supposedly very reconcilable with my offline one. I meet a lot of “online people” IRL and most of my close friends IRL now are actually people I met on the internet. Save for a few, who they are in person is the same as who they are online. Hee
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Hahah this made me LOL:
“bad-mannered-cursing-like-a-sailor-who-is-pissed-off-at-everybody Tiff”
I agree, people need to understand that online and offline personalities can be totally different. I think online, I’m perceived as someone loud and outgoing but really, I’m quiet and an introvert… I don’t even like talking if I have nothing to say! Writing is just my way to express myself.
But then there’s nothing wrong with meeting people online… it’s just that most of the time you will probably be disappointed because the good (and sometimes bad) thing about the internet is that you can express yourself anyway you can.
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