Missing the toilet should be a crime
Look, I don’t think this is asking much, but I wish the restroom stalls at my gym and school had hooks so that I can hang my shit up. Like, at the gym, every time I’m doing my business in the ladies room, I have to lay my gym bag on my lap, but sometimes it tips over and lands on the floor. And for some reasons, that grosses me the fuck out.
What’s even more horrifying is seeing people’s jackets lying on the floor. I mean, if you’re going to lay your jacket on the restroom floor, intentionally, as you’re taking a piss, might as well throw it into the toilet that you’re pissing in. I’ve personally seen puddles of piss scattered throughout the floor inside of those stalls many, many times. No one’s going to clean it up, it dries up, and it stays there.
I bet you dudes are wondering how that could’ve happen in a women’s restroom, the piss puddles. See, some chicks prefer “hovering”. In this particular method, their ass cheeks doesn’t come in physical contact with the toilet seat and is only a few inches apart from each other (the ass and the seat). The ones that can do it do it like a champ. They are precise and their piss strategically spurts into the bowl without touching anything else. Beautiful.
The ones that don’t know how to hover but do it anyways, however, have weak knees. When in hovering position, knees are sloppily bent at a 130 degree angle (when it should be 90, at the least) and wobbling legs would commence. As a result, piss skips the toilet bowl and lands fucking everywhere.
Those kinds of inconsiderate hags should be banned from hovering, and they’re probably the same people who leave shit sit on the top of the toilet seat too.
LOL funny funny funny, yeah i hate it a lot too if i find bathrooms like that.. luckily my school toilets have hooks but sometimes you go to a place and they dont have it.
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i totally agree with you!
leaving my stuff on the floor of the toilets give me the shudders! i need a hook!!!
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public restrooms are my deepest fear. srsly.
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OMG. I hate when bathrooms don’t have the hooks! I get SO upset. And I’m one of those bag ladies who owns the huge luggage-size purses and stuffs pretty much everything in there. I also hate leaving it on the floor. It skeeves me out. Lord only knows what was on that public restroom floor.
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LOL that’s hilarious. Very nicely put. I use this co-ed bathroom stall at my part-time job (where the workers and some of the regular customers often use) and I don’t know if they’re drunk (I work at a bar) or what, but as the night goes on, there’s small pool of piss right where my feet go when it’s my turn to use it. I wear jeans that are a tad too long for me so I always gotta spread my feet around that sh** so I don’t mop it up with the bottom of my pants. (Thank goodness I don’t “hover”, as you call it)
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Hahaha. I really have nothing useful to contribute other than that this was very well written. Thanks for the laugh.
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Ugh. I don’t think I could ever even go out there. Thank God for my over-sized blatter.
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public toilets creep the hell out of me! i hate them. and even if they try the best to keep them clean and even add that thing thats supposed to spread a fresh oddour (eg: lemon or peach) it just makes me want to hold my breath even more. and i never breath through my mouth in a publich toilet, lol
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I hate when the entire toilet seat is wet. How the fuck do you get the whole seat wet? Piss puddles all over.
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Oh ewwwwww! I cannot stand those people who insist on hovering when they know well enough that they cannot handle the responsibility it requires. Some ladies are soooo gross. What bothers me is walking into a stall after another lady, and she’s still in the bathroom washing her hands and you see the nastiness that she has left behind for the next person. Why bother washing your hands and pretending to be clean when you’ve marked this whole bathroom with your peepee?? I’ve had to call people out a few times at rest stops. It disturbs me how some people will blatantly leave peepee all over the stall when they know someone is going in right after them. N-A-S-T-Y.
sorry for my rant, this was just an excellent starting off point. haha!
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Ooh wow, you just speak what was inside my mind! I went to a public toilet yesterday in a shopping mall and was grossed out with how wet the floor was and the whole cubicle just reeked of urine and shit. Worst was the toilet seat had urine scattered all over it..yucks! So sometimes we do have no choice but to “hover”, especially when there was no toilet paper around to wipe away all the mess as well.
I have been thinking of bringing sanitizer liquid to public toilet so that I can just wipe the seat clean before sitting on it…but that’s just me.
I have also thought about the hooks before. It’s worse when you have bags and bags of shopping and you do not know where to put them when you are in the toilet.
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That’s horrifying.
My sister told me she was in the girl’s bathroom and saw a pair of feet, then heard the sound of CRACKLING diarrhea and saw little speckles of poop hit the floor all up and around the woman’s feet. The woman was like, “Oh my god, I don’t know what to do! What do I do?”
My sister said she just thought to herself, “I.. gee, I really don’t know. Can’t help you. Sorry. I really am.”
Dude, man, if I own a business, I will check the toilet after each usage. If someone pisses on the floor, I will make them clean it at gunpoint.
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OMG I’M SO DAMN GOOD AT HOVERING!! But I lay like 10 layers of toilet paper underneath just in case the stream is too long and I fall down cuz my knees get tired but thankfully that’s never happened yet. LMAO.
But yeah I hate those stupid bitches who hover and miss… and don’t freaking clean up afterwards. SO NASTY.
I also don’t know what people are thinking when they put their purses, jackets, shopping bags and other personal belongings on the floor of a public washroom… that’s probably the dirtiest thing in the world. I had to do that once when I had a gazillion shopping bags and when I got home, I ended throwing them all away (I usually have a junkrat habit of saving my my bags).
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Euuuhh, they should do the classic man trick instead, and carefully put toilet roll on the actual seat, to avoid touching it, however it’s only really used in extreme circumstances
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