Left 4 Dead, though quickly followed by Team Fortress 2, is the first online multiplayer cooperative game that I’ve ever played.  Ever since I’ve been playing and interacting with hundreds of other players under those two games, I’ve noticed weirdly distinct and common traits that are only consistent among girls (largely influenced by the fact that they are the minorities) who play video games aka “girl gamers” or “gamer girls.”

There are three different types of girl gamers…sort of.  The first one can be found anywhere, including my Steam friends list.  They’re all exceptionally different but have one thing in common and that is to have fun and play a game, as it should be.

That’s the first type, awfully broad, but whatevez.  The other two types, on the other hand, are both painstakingly narrow! I’ve surprisingly witnessed and heard so much of it that I’ve decided to segregate them from the original group entirely and turn each of them into one cohesive character:

The Zealot (sometimes referred to as The Feminist Gamer) – “You just got pwned by a GIRL! Yes, a GIRL!”  The Zealot is a gamer who has a vagina and you bet your hp that she’s damn proud of it. Her MySpace, Facebook and Steam page bears the insignia of “GIRL GAMER” and she’ll go to great lengths to remind the gaming community that she is a GIRL GAMER by joining-or worst creating biased fan clubs, communities, and/ cults exclusive to other gamer girls, potentially building this terrifying, never-ending empire of zealots.

The Zealot is usually a veteran gamer, who apparently lived a hard knock gaming life demanding equality and respect in the gaming world. In the past, she was regularly shunned, belittled, and sometimes insulted by male gamers (predominantly made up of her older brothers and cousins) for simply being a girl gamer…which explains a lot.

But what the Zealot doesn’t know is how times have changed.  Girl gamers have already proven their worthy and competence, thus earning most of the respect of the guys.  To be overly and overtly proud of being a girl gamer is akin to being a proud female painter; it’s retarded and convinces everyone that female painters are in some way inferior to male painters.

The Chosen One (usually in multi-player/team games) – While the Zealot encourages more girls to play video games, the Chosen One wants nothing more in life than to to votekick all of them off but herself.  And unlike the Zealot, the Chosen One is more likely to be a newb.

When the Chosen One started playing video games, she thought she was the only special girl gamer who existed within her continent due to the overwhelming number of gamer guys that have given her the attention she had always craved for.  That is…until…another girl gamer joined in on the game and then another.  Typical girl gamers would react with excitement and relief when encountering their first girl gamer, but this had only brought darkness, rage and jealous tendencies to the Chosen One.

The Chosen One will do anything in her power to votekick off another girl gamer while ingame just so she can feel somewhat special and unique again, being the only girl gamer in a game of all male players.  She will either ignore the other girl gamer throughout the game and weep afterwards, or ragequit and weep should she fail at votekicking her competition off.

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