After receiving numerous search engine referrals lately on stuttering due to an old entry of mine, I feel like I should have been a lot more informative and professional about this topic, instead of being whiny about it (as I usually am!).

This is going to be a Part Two (or perhaps an upgrade) of the original post. And assuming that most of the regular visitors on here do not have a speech problem, I will write couple of tips on how to react when you’re talking to a stutterer.

How to deal with a person who stutters

1. Please be aware that stuttering does not equate to mental retardation. Stuttering is a neurological weakness which affects the words that come out of  their mouths–not their entire mental capacity, so treat them like normal human beings.

2. Maintain normal eye contact and look normal–try not to look embarrassed or startled.

3. Do not make remarks such as, “Calm down,” “Slow down”, or “Pause, and think about what you’re going to say” (My sister use to do this a lot when I was younger and the only thing it did was make me feel very impatient and frustrated).

4. Be patient.

5. If you have a hard time understanding what they’re trying to say, don’t hesitate to ask, “I’m sorry, can you repeat that for me again?” They should know that their stuttering will make it harder for other people to understand, so don’t be afraid to ask.

6. Unless you know this person very well, refrain from finishing/correcting their sentences. This can imply that you are being impatient.

7. Basically, be yourself and be polite just as if you were to interact with any other person.

(reference)

How to deal with stuttering (or stammering)

Obviously, I’m not guaranteeing that all of your stuttering and stammering will stop overnight–heck even I still have my moments to this day. Stuttering is one of the most difficult things to overcome and it may take many years of speech therapy and practice to become better. Even though we may possibly never find the exact answers to what causes this particular frustrating speech problem, I do believe if you keep on training your brain to get into the habit of using these methods, you will improve each time.

What works for me and may not work for you. At present, I’m still struggling with certain words, but a lot of people don’t even know that I have a stuttering problem now. People tend to misinterpret my stutters as being nervous, hesitant, intimidated and insecure…or that I have a mild case of turrets.  That’s a whole another story though.

Informing them

This one is completely optional and it really depends on you and your comfort level. Each time you have a conversation with someone whom you’ve just met for the first time, casually mention that you have a speech problem somewhere in the discussion–no matter how hard it might be to say it:  “I hate it when I stutter” or “Sorry about my stuttering.”

I believe stuttering is at its worse when you’re talking to an unfamiliar person. The interaction with strangers creates anxiety and nervousness, and nervousness creates stuttering and other speech slip-ups. Letting a person know that you stutter alleviates A LOT of that uncomfortable tension for you and the person you’re talking to. You’re also clarifying and confirming to them that you DO have a stuttering problem and you’re not mentally challenged (as some folks might misinterpret stuttering for that), it’s just your speech.

Bob your head

Some people are very expressive with their hands when they’re talking. What people don’t usually notice though is you can also “talk” with your head/neck. I found that most heavy stutterers are very stagnant when they’re talking to someone else–which is something you want to avoid entirely!

Next time, sway your head back and forth, side to side as you are speaking, and if you’re having trouble with a word, bob your head like you’re about to headbang but somebody turned off the music so you only did it half way.

IE: “My dog just p-p-p-p-p*HEADBANG*peed on the carpet.”  The point of bobbing (or halfway headbanging) your head is to create a distraction for your brain. So be animated! They won’t see it comin.

Bounce your words off

There’s a really great scene in The King’s Speech where the main character, King George VI–who was also known to be a pretty awful stammerer–was giving his radio speech to the country while his speech mentor was in the same room with him, guiding him and his every spoken word. When the king came across the word he was about to stumble on, people, his mentor whispers to him, “Bounce it off! Bounce it off!” So without screwing up the word, he says, “AH-people”.

This method is so clever and it’s easily the most effective for me. If you know you’re about to screw up a word, bounce it off by discreetly adding an “A” sound in front of that word. It seems rather odd to be adding a random sound in front of a word, but people typically don’t notice.

Find a rhythm

When stutterers sing, they typically don’t stutter AT ALL mainly because they are already familiar with the lyrics and the beat of the music, so everything tends to flow very fluidly. Next time, try to someone you’re completely comfortable with, and instead of just “talking” sing your sentences by applying a beat of one of your favorite songs. If that works for you, you should do it as an exercise every day so you can get into the habit of–not so much singing–but talking with a subtle beat.

OR

Find the rhythm in what you’re saying–keeping a steady beat by rocking your feet back and forth will certainly help your speech flow better.

Conclusion

It really just isn’t all about using your mouth and vocal cords. It’s about putting your body into motion, bobbing or twitching certain parts of your body, and distracting yourself from messing up by doing those things!

If you would like to read more on stuttering, check out some of the blogs that covers it: The Stuttering Brain and Stutter Talk.