I went to the MTV Movie Awards 2011 last night and originally sat in practically the shittiest spot in the Gibson Amphitheater, but ended up getting really good seats for the last half of the show. How good you ask? Well, let’s see:

• I sat two seats behind the main Twilight cast until we all had to move to a different seating temporarily (it’s complicated).
• Twilight cast Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson were having a guy-on-guy make out session in front of me. Really icky.

Robert Pattinson ran down to Taylor Lautner to kiss him 'cause he thought it was "funny". Right...

• MTV camera showed me cracking up pretty hard after that incident, that it was kind of hard for me to see.

ROFLCOPTER

• I witnessed the godliness of Nicki Minaj’s ass within eight feet from me when she got up from her seat. It’s retardedly huge. It’s definitely enjoyable to look at when her ass seems like it’s staring directly at you, but it’s actually not so pleasant when you see it from the side.
• Emma Watson sat in my row, just 4-5 seats from me. She too has a really nice round ass, pretty nice from any angle you look at (I’m a perv!).
• Tyrese Gibson sat right behind me for most of the time being. He kicked my chair a couple of times like one of those annoying people you get at the movie theaters. He also he giggles incredibly loud and slow at the same time.
• Reese Witherspoon sat about five feet diagonally across from me.
• For the last part, I sat right behind Emma Stone (Easy A) when she won an award for “Best Comedian”. The seat I was sitting in was originally Andrew Garfield’s (The Social Network) until he got bored and left.


You deserve it girl.

It was quite weird seeing them up so close because you can practically smell their scent and read what their expressions were saying when they lost to an award or a joke that mentioned them.

When Chelsey Handler compared Emma Watson to Zac Efron, it was uncomfortable watching Emma’s reaction because she sat so close to me. Emma’s laugh was forced, though it was dorky and adorable at the same time. I got a sense that she didn’t want to look like one of those stuck-up broads who didn’t find anything funny. I liked her, and her presence. She was always laughing and looking like she was having a great time.

Taylor Lautner, on the other hand, comes off a little arrogant–or was tired. The only reason he was smiling and looked awake in that screenshot I posted was because he JUST had a fucking lip-wrestling match with Robert Pattinson. For the rest of the time, he yawned quite a lot and he looked bored out of his mind. When an artist was performing he was literally only one who was sitting down, leaning his cheeks on his hands.

Robert Pattinson was drunk the whole time. Yes, he’s got the charming looks and all, but he’s really, just, extra lame when he’s trying to be funny. I cringe for every word that comes out of his mouth–God only knows what he’s like sober.

That was the gist of the night. The entire show was kind of a bore, but it was more entertaining for me and my friends since we eventually got the very rare opportunity to sit with the actors. Not too many have the opportunity to do that, you know? So I’m just really grateful to experience that.

We couldn’t bring a camera into the show so we took a couple of pre-show photos:

We got our nails did.

The Trifecta!