If you’re around my age, you probably have the hots for male actors like Josh Gordon Levitt, James Franco and Robert Pattinson. While these guys are undoubtedly gifted with charming good looks, nothing is more attractive than real men who are obviously older and far more experienced with being a man, getting laid, punching babies and just life in general.

I mean, look, I’m not saying I have a thing for older dudes. Older people, both men and women, are simply wayyy more interesting compared to us naive little youngsters. The wrinkles and the grey hair people start to get from aging can be a very sexy thing (as long as they’re not druggies or batshit crazy) because it means they’re leveling up. So here are some of the men in the entertainment biz I currently admire:

5. Josh Brolin

"You keep runnin' that mouth I'm gonna take you in the back and screwya"

Who knew this former goonie would grow up to be a ballsy ass cowboy? Brolin gets to be on my list because he’s been in so many good movies lately–although he’s usually in supporting roles, but hey man, he’s just that good at supporting: Grindhouse: Planet Terror, No Country for Old Men, American Gangster, Milk, and The Goonies just to name a few. Yes, that’s him. That’s the guy who played the big hunky brother (Brandon Walsh) in The Goonies; the guy you wished you locked lips with as kid, instead of that fuglified Andy.

4. James Caviezel

Peace be with you!

I swear, it seems like the older he gets, the more beautiful his face becomes. You might know him from The Passion of the Christ, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Stoning of Soraya M, or Deja Vu. He’s got crazy man-piercing eyes that’ll swallow your soul if you stared at it long enough. He makes a good-looking Jesus. And he’s apparently pretty serious about his Catholic religion. No matter what your stance is on the church, you can’t deny the fact that you’ll never be able to find another Catholic man that’s as beautiful as Caviezel.

3. Louis C.K.

"You don't have to be smart laugh at farts, but you'd have to be stupid not to."

If I wasn’t happy with my current relationship, I would ask this glorious son-of-a-bitch to marry me. Yes, I’m aware that he’s slightly fat, ugly, ginger and he’s balding and hair-ing at the same time but he’s one of the most brilliant and hilarious comedians of our time. Louis CK has been putting out original consistently funny and brutally honest comedy for years, and the man hasn’t even lost his fire yet. If you watch any of his stand-ups–or even his TV show on FX Louis–you will understand the odd yet strong attraction I have for Mr. CK.

2. Viggo Mortensen

Je suis ramasser mon nez et les manger comme on parle *wink wink*

I first saw Viggo in the LOTR Trilogies but he didn’t really win my heart until I saw several Youtube videos of him speaking in like FIVE OR SIX OR FUCKING TEN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES. According to Wikipedia, he “speaks fluent English, Danish and Spanish; he is also conversational in French and Italian, and understands Norwegian and Swedish.” If that doesn’t get your panties dropping like Myspace hits, then you’re clearly not human at all.

1. Anthony Bourdain

"I liked the life that went with being a chef. I was getting laid, I was getting high, I was having fun. "

Anthony Bourdain is the coolest, baddest and possibly oldest man on television. Though I may be just a partially biased because he reminds me of so much like my boyfriend in the mannerisms, the younger photos, and the fact that they both appreciate all different types of food from all over the world. But really though, Bourdain somehow turned his chef career into a rockstar lifestyle. He’s a paid chef who doesn’t even have to cook. He has the best job in the world, hands down. He also seems like a real genuine guy who cares because he stands up to activists who try to ban certain foods such as foie gras. He also acknowledges the Mexican, Ecuadorian and other Spanish-speaking immigrants who make up the majority of chefs and cooks in the U.S, and strongly considers them to be the most talented chefs but are undervalued and underpaid. What an outstanding individual.

I’m really hungry now.

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17 Responses so far.

  1. Uglyfish says:

    I’ve never heard of most of them if I’m honest, but Anthony Bourdain seems like a really nice man, the way he stands up for values and people.

    The caption under James Caviezel had me in stiches! So funny, and he is quite lovely looking isn’t he!

    Reply

  2. sarah says:

    Anthony Bourdain!!! Plus points cuz he’d probably eat ANYTHING i serve him, LOL

    Reply

  3. jayjayne says:

    OLDER MEN = LOVELY.

    I’m really digging Hugh Laurie – he’s British and a sardonic pessimist. Honestly, how much hotter could you get?

    Reply

  4. Jenny says:

    I did not know that James Caviezel played Jesus in Passion of Christ! You’re right, he makes a very yummy Jesus =9 And I love Louis C.K. as well, one of my favorite comedians! I almost didn’t recognize him in that photo though, I swear he had more hair! Lol

    Reply

  5. M says:

    omfg
    i love louis CK
    when i saw him in parks nd recreation, gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    also, i’ve never heard of the number one, but HE SOUNDS AWESOME!
    people who have beliefs are pretty damn awesome, and not afraid of telling people off. that’s really important

    yeah foie gras is fucked up shit

    Reply

    Tiff Reply:

    Wowsas! If you have never heard of Anthony Bourdain before, you should totally check out his show “No Reservations” if you have Netflix.

    He travels the world and eats their food. It’s awesome.

    Reply

  6. zoraida says:

    Mmmm I love getting my old-man-love on hahaha. Colin Firth is definitely #1 for me! :’D

    Reply

  7. Joy says:

    I wouldn’t say they are old but Clive Owen and Brendan Frasier are sooo attractive it’s not even funny.

    Reply

  8. Gabi says:

    Holy crap. I just about threw my mouse when I saw Anthony Bourdain. I didn’t even read your description for Viggo Mortensen out of excitement. I love Anthony Bourdain. He’s not at the top of my hot totties list, especially now that he’s looking REALLY old, but I adore the way he speaks and writes. The man’s a genius.

    I’ve been meaning to do a similar list for awhile, but I hate looking for pictures. It all goes back to my days of making 100×100 icons all day, every day. I’d rather not talk about it. But I’m told I have an unusual taste in men. I’m like you are with Louis C.K. If a guy’s funny, I become ridiculously attracted to him, even if he’s ugly as all hell. I like my men to be on the husky side as much as you like them to be old. More cushion for the pushin’, I say.

    Reply

  9. Brian says:

    Josh Brolin was in THE GOONIES?!? (*googles pics*) Oh yea, I see the resemblance lolz. Now there’s a fun fact! =D

    I think if I had to pick an “older dude”, I might go with Pierce Brosnan. In addition to his acting, he’s an environmental activist — and from the few interviews I’ve seen, just a sweet guy. He’ll always be my 007~! lolz. =D

    Reply

  10. Shiri says:

    You have some very interesting mancrushes :)! But yes, those guys ARE charming, definately.

    Reply

  11. Jen says:

    I like 2 out of your 5 mancrushes. I like Viggo Mortensen and James Caviezel (so much!) :P They look very “manly” and they stand out when it comes to acting! :)

    Reply

  12. James and Viggo are definitely hot! I always had a thing for older guys, but the funny thing is I married someone who is younger than me. I guess love trumps over preferences.

    Reply

    Tiff Reply:

    I can definitely tell you that originally, I never thought about dating older men, never. I was always into guys close to my age until I met someone (now boyfriend) who is ten years older, but we had an obvious connection together.

    Love *does* trump over preference.

    Ah, love is such a weird thing too.

    Reply

  13. Aprilia Love says:

    Thank you for sharing these hotties with us – Viggo is definitely my favourite here!
    I still can’t go past James Franco though! :p

    xx

    http://aprilialove.com

    Win a $75 Shopbop voucher in my latest giveaway here:

    http://aprilialove.com/2011/07/win-a-75-shopbop-voucher/

    Reply

  14. Jen says:

    James Caviezel is gorge. I remember watching The Passion of the Christ and thinking… “Is it wrong that I think Jesus is totally hot?!” :)

    Until I found out that Anderson Cooper was gay, I thought he was hunky oldie. He still is, but I’m thinking I have a better chance with Hot-Jesus than I do with Coop.

    Reply

  15. linda says:

    i love anthony bourdain!! maybe not as much as you though haha but cool none the less :)

    Reply

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