I needed to buy a dress for an upcoming wedding and decided to shop at the nearest mall. I’m generally not a very picky person so I thought this was going to be a smooth and easy ride for me, but it ended up being way more annoying and troublesome than I had anticipated.
Considering that the wedding is going to take place in a more rural area of France, the idea I had for my dress was something innocent and appropriate for Spring. I didn’t want any dark colors such as black or brown, I just wanted to look like a good Christian girl who stepped out of church on Easter morning.
I visited a lot of the major fashion chain stores and most turned out to ba complete failure in finding the perfect dress because there wasn’t enough variety. Here’s what I learned about the type of dresses that they generally carried:
- Forever 21: Neon colors, everywhere. Everything is too goddamn bright and see-through. They really dig patterns of hearts, polka-dots and horses. They also like a lot of big ruffles around the collars. No thanks.
- H&M: Loose, long and flowy–or short and corporate. The colors are sad and dull. A 75-year-old grandmother can totally wear a typical H&M dress and rock dat old lady dress at a family reunion.
- Wet Seal: Everything is sluttified and the quality of their fabric is poor. Too much of floral tackiness. Dresses are skin tight and short. Perfect for a 90′s prostitute, but not for a wedding guest.
- Macy’s: Made to perfection, but unfortunately, it shows on their price tag.
- JC Pennys: Lots of fun patterns and color combinations, but the structure of the dresses are built for a very tall, middle-aged white woman. I swear. I walked into their fitting room to try on a dress and I immediately felt out of place after realizing I was in room full of Orange County housewives.
Sears (THE WINNER): The first thing I saw when I walked in was the juniors section, and oddly enough, it had what I was looking for. And the variety! There were average ones, cute ones, even slutty ones and most importantly, the ones I was looking for–well–regardless of the fact that it was actually made for high school girls. The dress that I picked out screams SPRING. EASTER. SUNDAY. HAPPINESS. and ALL THINGS SNUGGLY.