I’m positive most of what I’m about to write is what we’ve experienced as both victims and perpetrators. If you’ve never left a bad comment yourself, then well, aren’t you just a precious little angel!

1. I’ll just leave this here…comment — You’re most likely a selfish blogger whose primary goal is to get more hits on your blog. Numbers are the only thing that matters to you, so you’ll go to at least 15-20 new blogs a day to leave the same generic comment like the heartless blogger you are. When visiting a new blog, you don’t even glance at the entry, but you click straight into the comments section instead and type “Your blog is so cute!”. And if you’re feeling crazy you’ll change it up a little by writing “Love your post!” instead.

My response: Really? That’s it? I just wrote an entry on eating lasagna with my dad for father’s day and how I went home to my dog crying itself to actual death because of an unbeknownst heart tumor, asshole.

2. Maybe if I look for keywords they’ll think I’ll know what I’m writing about…comment — You probably feel obligated to leave a comment only because they’ve left a comment on your’s. But ONOZ–their latest entry seems painfully long to you and you’re a lazy tard. Instead of skipping the post, you dive deep into it by searching for key words and pictures that will hopefully summarize the point of their post to come up with this brilliant bullshit of a comment…only to end up looking like a complete idiot.

“Yikes yikes yikes, I’m really sorry to hear about your dad dying on Father’s Day. It makes it even sadder that your dog was crying over his death. Feel better and eat some tums for your heartburn!”

3. Let’s talk about the least important thing…comment — The majority of the post (dog dying and all) somehow completely goes over your head and the only thing you can say is how you’re suddenly craving for lasagna and other Italian foods.

4. Let’s talk about something entirely off topic…comment — The alternative to #3. My comments section isn’t a goddamn Facebook wall for you to write trivial crap, but nice try anyway.

5. Summarize everything in one or two sentences…comment — Possibly the least severe and most forgivable of all sucky blog comments. Scanning for key words (#2) is too risky for you so you’ll end up reading most of the words. No matter how long or detailed the entry is, you’ll always leave an extremely compressed and quick comment going over the main points of the topic, because anything more is just too much damn work. Nobody knows if you’ve actually read the whole thing and you’re just a lazy responding bastard. But for sure, you’ll always be the latter.

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17 Responses so far.

  1. M says:

    love your blog!
    just kidding haha
    but yeah, i hate that too but i get like 1 or 2 comments per entry and usually they are from people that actually read it, very grateful.

    also im really lazy, so if your blog isn’t in my RSS feed i won’t read it.. lol

    Reply

  2. M says:

    and oh hey
    i dont wanna be THAT guy
    but pick one, any one, shouldn’t it be the prequel?

    am i being stupid? yeah?

    Reply

    tiff Reply:

    I guess it could be called the prequel if there was an actual specific hierarchy/order to them. Is there?

    I only wrote “sequel” because it came AFTER the other one.

    Reply

  3. Catherine says:

    Hahaha I actually wanted to write a post like this a while ago but gave up as I didn’t want to offend people. I remember back in the day people would do the, “love your site!!” type of comment, which I don’t mind if they’re really nice, but when they’re generic it’s like :\ bye.

    The keyword thing bugs me as well, some people totally miss the mark of your blog. At times people will maybe comments, “good luck on your __”, when if they had read past the first paragraph they would realise this has already taken place!

    Another type of comment I hate, in addition to this list, is simple the the “thanks for your comment!” comment. They don’t even need to comment on the blog, but something a bit more than that would be appreciated, haha.

    Reply

    tiff Reply:

    Oh yeahhhhh, the one that thanks you for the comment and nothing else, I’ve gotten that before and it’s just…really unnecessary and weird (I think that sorta comment could go under #1 or #4.)

    I would just go back to their blog and leave a comment that says “You’re welcome!”

    Reply

  4. Cat says:

    I got a comment that falls under #1 just yesterday; it pretty much said “dropping by, love your blog”. I normally return comments, but ones like that make it so I don’t even want to visit the site. I also don’t like the ones that ask for a link exchange and nothing else.

    It’s weird to me when people do #3, especially when they pick the one sentence that is completely unrelated (usually something I end with), and write a long comment just about that one thing.

    I’m usually afraid of falling into #5. I always read the full entry, but sometimes I really don’t have much to add to it other than what’s already been said O.o;;

    Reply

  5. Kate says:

    THIS. I love the fact that you just tell it like it is. :’)

    If you have nothing productive or relative to say on a blog post, don’t leave a half-assed comment just to shamelessly pimp yourself. It’s so obvious, and these people think they’re being subtle! /fail

    Take it as a compliment Tiff, they obviously think your blog is popular and want to try and steal your fanbase. ;)

    Reply

  6. I used to be guilty of these, and still might be on a certain level. What I hate is commenters that take anything that could possibly be taken the wrong way, and then they pick and pick and pick about it as a way to make me look like I’m the idiot who is writing about something I have no idea about or is wrong is some way. They just *have* to find a way to insult you, even if it’s about your spelling. I effing hate that!

    Reply

  7. sarah says:

    OMG guilty for #4! hehehe. Also, I love it when bloggers “reply” to my comment. Just shows how much they appreciate you taking time to stop by and ready their blog.

    Reply

  8. Liv says:

    Here’s a long, juicy comment for you. :P

    I cannot tell you how much I can’t stand #5. People who do that read your blog post the same time they type up their comment.
    – Oh congrats on the job!
    – My grandma got a new cat too.
    – I ate muffins for breakfast too.
    – Have fun at the party!

    I have yet to see #1. Maybe my blog is not popular enough for that.

    As for #2 and #4, I haven’t really gotten comments in those departments. I usually keep my blog easy to read, so most people wouldn’t have trouble understanding. I also don’t read blogs that are long and boring, or about topics that I don’t understand. Might as well not read them if I can’t leave a good comment.

    And to end this comment brilliantly, #3 annoys me just as much as #5. I get those the most. I’m one of those people who likes to reference something and relate it to the topic of my post. One time I referenced a book. It took about three sentences. Someone left a comment saying how much they hate the book. Are you kidding me?!

    Of course there are rare times when I leave a comment that picks out one little thing in the post. It’s usually when I’m in a rush, or I have nothing better to say. I don’t make a habit out of it though.

    Reply

  9. Gayle says:

    Haha! I’m always a victim of number 1 and 5, and there are even times that I delete comments like #1.

    Fortunately I haven’t encountered comments like #2 in my blog, and I hope I won’t.

    I love your guts to write a post like this, if I did something like this I wouldn’t be able to write things off properly. Hopefully people who are guilty of these things would somehow try to give some efforts reading next time. :)

    Reply

  10. Liza says:

    I’ve left sucky comments more so lately, but mostly because my memory is shot. I also tend to ramble a lot. :L I really hope that doesn’t bother you?

    Anyway, let’s see…

    1. I really hate these. They’re just like the one-sentence comments that don’t really have much to do with the post, or they do, and just. No. Ugh. Go away.

    2. Couldn’t they just skip the post for now and come back later…?

    3. I get comments from people who leave a mere sentence on how ____ and ____ and ___ and blah, blah, blah, and I take EFFORT to write them a comment back. Ugh. I’m calling it quits in 2013. No more spending effort on things that are just wasted.

    Blah.

    Overall, I’m just going to say that what I hate the most is when people come to my site and reply saying, “Love your blog!” or “Thanks for the comment!” or “What’s up?” and try to start a conversation with me. How about NO.

    :) And I still promise I don’t bite.

    Reply

  11. Colette says:

    I think as bloggers we all hate these kind of comments. When I visit someone’s blog and I like it, I make sure to read what they write about and leave a meaningful comment, since that is what I would like my visitors to do too. In the case where I don’t really care/like the blog, I won’t comment, or I will try to find a blog post (among the archives) that I’d like enough to leave a good comment on.

    One of the things I hate to see in the comments (may it be on my blog or others) is people who after leaving a #1 type of comments also leave a link back to their blog. Seriously? There is already a dedicated space for a website link in the comments section, you don’t need to re-advertise it! It’s really a big pet peeve of mine.

    People tend to just look at your latest blog post and leave a quick comment so that you’d also come over to their blog, even if they didn’t enjoy the post you wrote and I think it is sad. I am sure that every blogger – at least once- wrote a good blog post, and if you took the time to go back in time in their archives, you’d find it and have a good reason to leave a good comment and not play a generic one you serve to all others. I just feel like it would make things better rather than just focusing on the latest blog post.

    It is good that you have pointed this out, Tiff. Hope you are having happy holidays!

    Reply

  12. Ashley says:

    You hit this right on the head of the nail. I mean, this is so incredibly true. I think part of the problem is that people are too lazy to really care to write out an actual comment.

    Honestly, I do not expect a huge five paragraph response, but I would rather have two paragraphs of a genuine thought than a five paragraph full of crap comment.

    Reply

  13. Jen says:

    This entry!

    I totally agree with Cat up there. My comments tend to be short because I rarely leave comments anymore to begin with (and I rarely return comments too b/c I’m a jerk blogger what can I say,) but usually I just comment with the random thoughts that pop into my head after reading the full post. Or worse, I really want to say something because I like the post but I haven’t much to actual say.

    I think the only comments that bother me is when people look at a photo then comment something completely wrong. Like commenting that my cat is cute when it’s clearly stated right about the photo that it’s some stray on the street, I dunno ~_~. Everything else I’m fine with :)

    Reply

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