Possibly one of the best burger joints I’ve been to, The Counter lets you custom build your own delicious, juicy, heart attack burger of death.

A few of my buddies and I went there for the very first time last Saturday and we enjoyed every single minute of it, from the moment it touches the tip of our tongues to the second it gets metabolize by our stomach acids (Dwight Shrute ftw!).  It is so delightfully fulfilling that it really feels like you’ve already eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner for the following day.

Here are the pictures of some of our uniquely crafted, individualized burgers:

Man, I really needed that.  It was the perfect plate to eat right before starting #10 on 101 Things: Eat only mom’s healthy and non-delicious food for two whole weeks.

Reading that nearly had my gag reflex kick into over-drive.

Gugh!

(What the hell was that?)

Gugh!

(That’s the sound of my gag on the internetz)

I eat out more than half of the time because I don’t like most of the food that my mom makes.  Sorry mom, I love you, but I don’t love your cooking .  The meat’s always dried and overcooked.  You like putting guacamole and tomatoes in everything.  You cook too much fish and it stinks up the whole neighborhood.  And the snacks and desserts offered to me usually consists of oranges, apples and broccoli. Broccoli.

Basically, her stuff is pretty bland and predictable.  The only good thing about all the food she puts together is it’s actually somewhat healthy.  There’s not a whole lot of grease/fat;  it’s just there for you to survive.  As a child, I was really thin, thin as a tooth-pick as most would say, and I put the blame on the food that she has been feeding me all these years.

But ever since I’ve been old enough to diss her cooking by getting my preferred food, I’ve been gaining weight.  And gaining weight for me isn’t really bad, it’s just the food that I typically eat is entirely the opposite from my mom’s…fattening and greasy, and boy do I indulge.

Since I should save money (I don’t really have a job) and eat healthy, my goal is to eat nothing but of her food for a minimum two weeks, by that time, I should be adapted to her stuff, thus eating more of it…gugh!

For the past two days, I’ve been eating this:

From left to right:

-Sad and dried “pasta” with dried chicken and chopped up tomatoes.
-Sandwich with ham and only ham
-Yet another sandwich with ham…but WAIT!  It’s got wheat bread and some lettuce this time.

Is that mouthwatering or what?

I just remembered selling ludicrously bland things on Ebay last year and making money out of them. And by ludicrously bland things, I mean t-shirts, and by t-shirts, I mean plain white t-shirts that have already been worn by me.

I also noticed that my things tend to sell if I’m in the picture (duh), so I’m thinking, man, if I just hold a Styrofoam cup of paper clips and a used travel size shampoo and conditioner, and then post it on ebay, would anyone bid on it?

To quench my perpetual thirst for answers, I decided to google “weirdest ebay items” and found out that, and I shit you not, some belly button lint is currently up for bid for $170.00 so far.

So yes, I’ve come to the conclusion that someone, at least one person, in this wacked out world we live in, will purchase my Styrofoam cup of paper clips and used travel size shampoo and conditioner. I may not get a lot of money out of it, but somebody will actually use their time to bid on MY piece of junk, and of course, little money is better than no money.

But I’ve got a better idea. When I’m done selling my real stuff (stuff that a lot of people would want to buy), I’m going to take a picture of myself putting gum in my mouth, chewing it, taking it out and putting into a Ziploc bag…because you know why? I’m going to sell it on Ebay. I swear.

I’d just love for someone to purchase MY used gum. Honestly, who the hell can say, “Yeah, I sold my used gum for five bucks on eBay..pfff.”

I’d like to be that person.