TiffsBloggy

What’s the limit on being unreliable anyway?

I just had an AIM conversation with an old friend (let’s just call him Tony) and it went something like this:

Tiff: How are you and your girlfriend?
Tony: We’re not together anymore. We’re on a break.
Tiff: Oh sorry to hear that.
Tony: Naw it’s cool.  I love her a lot.
Tiff: …then why are you guys on a break?
Tony: Because she said that she wants to be completely focused on school.

Sorry “Tony”, but like I said before in our conversation, I think the whole “going on a break” thing is complete bullshit.  I don’t think the idea itself is bullshit, the explanation behind it, however, IS.

Tony’s girlfriend doesn’t want to be in a relationship at the moment because she wants to concentrate on her schoolwork. I mean, what the hell is this crap?  Is she seriously THAT dumb that she can’t handle a boyfriend and school at the same time, yet she has room for “girl’s night out” every weekend?

It just goes to show you how most people have this screwed up concept of how a relationship is suppose to work.  I was listening to the radio a couple of months ago and one of the callers asked for advice about his fiancé.  He loves painting, but his fiancé would never let him, because she’s constantly complaining how she feels neglected by him whenever he works on his art stuff. I mean, shit, let the guy fucking paint. Arts and crafts usually does take a long time to finish.

Having a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t you mean you have to spend quality time with them every single day.  It doesn’t mean you have to call them 24/7.  It doesn’t mean that you have to be the annoying boyfriend who checks up on his girl every time she’s not within screaming distances, right?

If this is how a relationship should be, then I certainly don’t want to be in one.

Tiff’s manuel on dating Tiff #3: Show little to no signs of interest

Who wants someone easy? A person who you find attractive yet seems virtually impossible to woo means a delectable challenge waiting to be beaten.

The most awesomesauce guy I had ever met by far had high standards and never wanted to show an ounce of interest in me (a turn on, spankyouverymuch). I eventually completed my assignment by winning his heart because I had done the same to him.

But it didn’t end there, we continued to talk because everything about us just worked. One of the crucial things that made our DATING (he was not my boyfriend) relationship so thrilling, addictive and weird was our attitude of “I’m too good for him/her” towards each other. Both of us were “too good” to make the first move, or we were “too good” to divulge how we really felt about each other, so we’d actually wait for one of us to initiate some love-related shit (’cause you can only hold in so much). And when that did happen, it was always like a huge relief since we seldom open up. You know that feeling when you’re significant other holds your hands for the very first time? Yeah, it’s kind of like that. It’s nice.

I was discreetly working for his affection and attention while he was working for mine. And little by little, we were slowly opening up to each other. I really think that’s what kept our relationship together so interesting and unpredictable.

We don’t talk anymore, due to distance, but I’m sure we’ll meet again in the future.

But the bottom line is life is boring without having challenges and nothing good ever comes easy. =)

Tiff’s manuel on dating Tiff #2: Quit calling me.

I don’t feel like I have to owe an explanation to a guy that I don’t want to talk to anymore if I’ve only met him once or twice.

You see there was this guy I met a club a while ago who I thought was uber sexy, and a terrific dancer (if I might add). We talked on the phone a couple of days after we met, and well, it turns out that he was pretty dumb. That’s a turnoff, btw. I thought the blandness of our conversation on the phone was a clear sign that we didn’t match, so I didn’t expect him to call me again.

Well he did eventually. I screened his call, because it’s the only rational thing I could do. Based on the level of our relationship—which was zero (there was no relationship to begin with)—I was not obligated to inform him we’re not compatible with each other and that we shouldn’t talk anymore.

Yeah it would totally suck to find out that you’ve just been rejected, but since there was absolutely no commitment involved, you’re supposed to bust a Jay-Z move and brush that dirt off yo shoulders. Move on to something else and if I decide to call you back, fine, that’s great.

This guy ended up calling my phone every other day for about two weeks, and I never answered once.

Exactly what part are you not able to grasp? If I’m not taking any of your calls, it has to mean something. If I like you, I will return your call-yeah, no shit, right? It should be a no brainer but it’s not for some, unfortunately. I’m not some vulnerable kidnapped victim who’s locked in a dark basement all day anxiously waiting for someone from the outside world to call me. But apparently, psycho over here has no commonsense whatsoever, and decides to abuse my number as if he was trying to sell me Viagra.

Fuck that, I’m not down with creepy callers and I’m not down with Viagra either.

Sometimes persistence isn’t the best idea to follow. You just gotta let some shit slide, or else your reputation gets dumped into the abyss of humiliation, where the rest of the creeps go.

Tiff’s manual on dating Tiff#1: No tickle fights.

I think I’m going to start writing my own instructions or manual, if you will, on dating me. Let’s face it, I haven’t had the greatest dates in a while and I think it’s mostly the guy’s fault in this type of situations that I’m in.

If I strongly believe that whatever will make or break the date, then I will write about it, starting now:

#1 NO tickle fights.

That is the worst thing you can ever do to me so cut that shit out. When the guy is in the middle of tickling you and you’re screaming things like, “No, no, seriously, stop, stop it you asshole…” he takes it to the opposite extreme and says, “Oh yeeeeah?” and kicks it up a notch and gives you the kind of tickles your uncle would give to you as a child. And you know uncles, they’re one of the most brutal motherfuckers on the planet are they not?