tb

I’m going to let you in on a little story that had just randomly popped up in my head today, and I’m going to write this down because there’s a point to it, so stick with me here.

Last year I met a guy on MySpace. Let’s call him John. John liked watching my YouTube videos (I don’t have them anymore); he also liked reading my blogs since he found most of them to be “raw”, abrasive and direct. Because of that, we then started to exchange messages on MySpace and talked on AIM for a bit.

He was going to fly to Los Angeles to visit his friends there, and since I live about 45 minutes away he suggested that we meet up. He seemed pretty cool. He was smarter than most guys I’ve encountered, and he was funny and interesting, mostly in a vulgar condescending sexist way, so I figured, “Sure why not?”

The day that he arrived to LA was the day before I leave to Boston and New York, obviously we didn’t have much of a choice to pick a date. So during the only day in which we were available to hang out, I brought a friend along, and he did the same. We met up at the beach, and things are already off to a bad start.

I couldn’t get him to open up. I asked him questions that never made it to a full on conversation. I threw in random jokes and funny comments here and there in attempt to break away from the awkward tension. But something seemed off about him. The way that he played with his thumbs, the way that he sat in his chair, and the way that he glanced at other people made it appear as if he was simply waiting and expecting something else from me, something specific. I just had to find what it was to unravel the John I knew online, but I never did. I gave up anyway since he made no efforts either.

We ended the day with an awkward and unsatisfying taste left in my mouth (and probably his too) but luckily, we both had vacations to look forward to. So that weird and uncomfortable incident I had to endure was moved to the side… I had a gawddamn vacation to enjoy.

When we both got back from our trips we eventually talked about it. I told him that I was disappointed when we first met up. He felt the same way, and the reason being he was expecting a different side of me, and he didn’t get it.

Oh…so he was expecting something else.

We talked some more and I later found out that he was anticipating meeting the bad-mannered-cursing-like-a-sailor-who-is-pissed-off-at-everybody Tiff like he reads in my blogs and watches in my videos but ended up with the Tiff who is completely normal and slightly dorky on occasions because she spouts her favorite movie quotes and laughs at her own jokes.

So the point of the story is: If you meet me in person and expect me to tell you to go fuck yourself and everybody else in the world because I’m supposedly angry and abrasive all the time, then you would surely be disappointed.

Why?

Because I’m not socially retarded. In “real life” I’m pretty nice, polite, and likable. I’m not blunt. I don’t creep people out. I try to avoid confrontations. I treat everyone with respect. I don’t freeload off of people’s food. And I certainly don’t go off on a tangent listing my aversions then go into detail on why they piss me off unless you ask for my opinion.

Sometimes I do swear. Sometimes I say “fuck” more than Orange County people say “like” but it really depends who I’m talking to and how comfortable they are with my use of profanity.

My writings can sometimes be different from the way I am perceived in person because I usually don’t describe what I do on a day to day basis (unless something funny/weird/interesting happened, but my life is pretty much normal). That shit bores me and I’d probably end up typing myself to sleep if I wrote how I walked the dog and then studied for a Biology test while eating Mac n Cheese.  When writing, I tend to pick out the ones in which I have fun writing about.  I write for myself and I let everyone in.  I do it at my own pace. No expectations. No courtesies. No politeness. Just me.