5. Charlie’s Angels (2000?) - I’m not sure if it was part 1 or 2, but the very first scene begins with a phone or possibly a radio they use to speak to Charlie with. Either way, it was ringing and ringing. Nobody was there to answer it until a Hispanic lady, sitting somewhere in the movie theater said, “bueno?…bueno?” in between rings, like it was her own phone. The entire audience laughed.

4. Don’t Remember the Name (Oops) – A group of bratty high school girls sat at the very front of the row and decided to be annoying by singing and yelling out random things that had nothing to with the trailer. A person in the crowd shouted “Shut the hell up!”

The annoying main high school girl turned around and yelled back, “Who said that!?”

Then another random person in the crowd shouted, “Just turn back around!”

“Say it in front of my face!” The high school girl stood up, obviously trying really hard to look tough in front of everybody.

At this point, everyone in the theater started yelling and heckling at the girls. We were all just pretty fed up and annoyed by the disruptions they’ve caused, but after that little chaos, they behaved quite well.

3. Mortal Kombat (1995) – I was only seven years old at the time and Mortal Kombat was actually the very first movie I’ve watched in a movie theater. When the credits started rolling at the end, some random guy sitting in the back, screamed at the top of his lungs ”MORTAL KOMBAAATTTTTTT!!!!!!! I was impressed. He sounded just like like the original yelling voice in the kickass theme song. As a kid, I was in complete awe I could’ve sworn it was the same guy.

2. Snakes on a Plane (2006) – This is one of those rare movies you had to see with a large group of people, strangers or not.  When I went to see this movie alone, there were a lot of things that made the movie even better because of the crowd. I think it was just a combination of watching it with a fun crowd who happened to be really into the movie, and the fact that the movie is just plain silly. It kind of felt like I was in a really huge living room because everyone seemed so comfortable to a point where some of them yelled out stuff during the movie, which is usually unacceptable (see #4), but for this movie only it was suitable. For instance, some guy panicked and yelled out, “No…no…NO. Do not tell me the snake is going to bite her sweet tits!” We all laughed. Oh, and let’s not forget about the infamous Samuel L. Jackson line we’d all scream out in unison, everyone went berserk.

1. Signs (2002) – It’s that one stressful scene: Mel Gibson takes a kitchen knife, and he slides it slooooooowly under the door to catch a reflection of what was on the other side. As we were all in the moment of anticipation, a large Samoan guy sitting a couple of seats behind me abruptly stood up, brought his hands out and yelled “RAaaaaWWWWRRRRRR!!!” After that, all you could hear was everyone screaming at the top of their lungs, but it was quickly followed by everyone laughing hysterically (out of relief I’m sure).

2. Juri from Street Fighter 4
Yeah, she’s a little bit revealing at the top–I’m quite certain I’d give both my boyfriend and my dad a heart attack if they ever saw me in that. Though, rest assure because if I ever decide to go as her, I’d definitely make the top look more prude-y. I like Juri because there’s a purple twinkle in her eye, her hair is ridiculously cute and she’s wearing what it seems to be Aladdin pants. ‘Nuff said.

3. Abigail Brand from Marvel Comics
Visually, she’s one of my favorite comic book character because she’s green! I don’t mean she recycles, but literally, green. Everything is green. Her hair is green, her sunglasses are green and all her outfits and uniforms are green–and she does it without look like a walking vegetable.

4. Lisa Garland from Silent Hill (but with blood)
Despite the picture I posted (I couldn’t find a better one), I’m going more for a more, rather unpleasant version of Lisa Garland in Silent Hill the movie, possibly known as the “red nurse”. It’s where her eyes are completely white-out and crying of blood tears. It’s a very simple costume but I do like how it can deceive people. Cute in the back…but disgusting in the front.

5. X-23 or Lauren from Marvel Comics
What can I say? She’s Wolverine’s f*cking genetic twin, therefore she’s the ultimate head-bitch-in-charge and the deadliest BAMF of the Marvel universe. I also like, when she’s not working for the X-Force (image above), her outfits tend to remind me of the chicks I’d see at the metal shows. Yep, my kind of woman.

I never really cared for what’s inside of someone else’s purse, but I’ve always been intrigued about the kind of objects they have around their computer. So if there’s anyone who’s just as curious as I am, I’d be more than willing to share mine: 1. Team Fortress 2 mouse pad: I use to waste a lot of my time playing Team Fortress 2 and one of my favorite characters was the Heavy, which is the bald Russian man on my mouse pad. I love this man so much I have a signed limited edition poster of the Heavy that’s waiting to be framed in my room.

2. Marilyn Monroe coaster: Ha, I just bought this actually–I never used a coaster before (for my house) until now. For the 23 years of living, I was finally fed up with the stains that the cold drinks have been leaving on my tables so I decided to, for once and for all, take my dirty Asian ass to the store.

3. Heart shaped post-its: Really, I rarely use it because it’s too cute to be used. If it’s used it’s because my little niece likes to stick them to her clothes…even then I’m still kinda’ stingy about that.

4. Snake in a bottle: This was a gift from my friend Hai who bought it in Vietnam. Yes, it is a real, dead snake. At first, I thought it was just a drink, which is nasty, but I later learned that it’s used like Viagra. So…if your man has “problems” and he doesn’t mind drinkin’ dat Snake Juice, I may have something for him.

5. Useful tombstone: This was a gift from my friend Pris who bought it in Mexico. Originally, there was a statue of Frankenstein hanging out in there but since my little nephew broke his head off, I decided to put my pencils, pens and scissors in there to commemorate good ol’ Frank.

6. Portrait of friends (and ex-friend): Here’s the picture. I love this picture so much but I’m kind of torn because one of them recently uh..ended up leaning towards the psycho side, so I wish to have no part in this person’s life anymore. Lolz.

7. Useful Beetlejuice sandworm sculpture: This was, surprisingly, a wedding favor from my friend’s Tim Burton-themed wedding. It’s probably the best and most unique wedding favor I’ve ever been given. I decided to put a dead rose in there since I’m full of good ideas.

8. Floral organizer thing: I bought this at a Japanese gift shop. It’s so lovely and it holds many different things in there!

9. X-Men wallpaper: Here’s the screenshot. I don’t read books (lulz) but I happen to read a lot of comic books, particularly Marvel stuff.

10. Failed & fugly angel key chain: Ugh, the only reason why he’s here is because I can’t get him attached to my phone. I WANT HIM HANGING OFF OF MY PHONE GODDAMNIT. It’s one of the most frustrating things in the world to have a hole in your cell phone that’s so small you need to have needle fingers to tie in the strings.

Not described in the photo:
-Betsey Johnson heart locket bracelet
-a couple of strands of my hair (ew)
-Hot Cheetos crumbs.

Enjoy your baby scent while it last, kiddo.

Changing: I’m the kind of person who will rearrange the positioning of their furniture every 3-4 months because I CANNOT stand stagnation. Keeping things the “same” is simply uninteresting, lame and boring. It’s not just furniture either, it’s practically everything in my life. Before I didn’t have to pay a crap-ton of bills, I could afford seeing a hairstylist every three months so they can dye and cut my hair into a completely drastic look. Currently, I’ve had this black long hair far too long and I’m just itching to go back to the salon and turn into a new woman.

Tiff, in blonde flavor, circa '07.

Watching pastry chefs handle dough: Ever since I was a kid, I was always fascinated with dough and how they were used in baking pastries. I don’t really know why, I just think it’s cool. First off, touching dough alone feels really orgasmic to me. It’s soft, delicate, and putty–I would probably try motorboating it if nobody was looking. And secondly, watching the chefs on those cooking documentaries play with them to make really delicious pastries is just a whole new level of awesome.

Building (girly) robots: In one of my older posts, I mentioned finding a new hobby which was putting gundam models together. I’m pretty sure some people thought I never started on it, but I already finished making three awesome little models! I love working with gundams that lean towards the “cuter” side. The next one I will be working on will be a unicorn-hybrid, but that shouldn’t be surprising anymore.

Don't fuck wit Team Fabulous

Rollerblading: Ah, rollerblading is quite special to me. One of my favorite things about rollerblading is that I always get strange looks from people all the time, who are possibly thinking, “Rollerblades still exist?” Yes, they do. Few. They’re generally used by children and white suburban men in their 50′s, but that still counts right?

Back then, I use to rollerblade a lot with the other kids in my old neighborhood. Once, when I was only six, we were rollerblading together out in the streets and I just remembered all of us ending up skating back to our houses for our lives because apparently a man was chasing us down, he wanted to kidnap one of us (we were all very young girls). Seriously, that was terrifying for me. Good thing we out-bladed that sick pedophilin’ bastard.

I probably have a wedgie but rollerblading makes me not give any fucks.

I mean, look, I’m not saying I have a thing for older dudes. Older people, both men and women, are simply wayyy more interesting compared to us naive little youngsters. The wrinkles and the grey hair people start to get from aging can be a very sexy thing (as long as they’re not druggies or batshit crazy) because it means they’re leveling up. So here are some of the men in the entertainment biz I currently admire:

5. Josh Brolin

"You keep runnin' that mouth I'm gonna take you in the back and screwya"

Who knew this former goonie would grow up to be a ballsy ass cowboy? Brolin gets to be on my list because he’s been in so many good movies lately–although he’s usually in supporting roles, but hey man, he’s just that good at supporting: Grindhouse: Planet Terror, No Country for Old Men, American Gangster, Milk, and The Goonies just to name a few. Yes, that’s him. That’s the guy who played the big hunky brother (Brandon Walsh) in The Goonies; the guy you wished you locked lips with as kid, instead of that fuglified Andy.

4. James Caviezel

Peace be with you!

I swear, it seems like the older he gets, the more beautiful his face becomes. You might know him from The Passion of the Christ, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Stoning of Soraya M, or Deja Vu. He’s got crazy man-piercing eyes that’ll swallow your soul if you stared at it long enough. He makes a good-looking Jesus. And he’s apparently pretty serious about his Catholic religion. No matter what your stance is on the church, you can’t deny the fact that you’ll never be able to find another Catholic man that’s as beautiful as Caviezel.

3. Louis C.K.

"You don't have to be smart laugh at farts, but you'd have to be stupid not to."

If I wasn’t happy with my current relationship, I would ask this glorious son-of-a-bitch to marry me. Yes, I’m aware that he’s slightly fat, ugly, ginger and he’s balding and hair-ing at the same time but he’s one of the most brilliant and hilarious comedians of our time. Louis CK has been putting out original consistently funny and brutally honest comedy for years, and the man hasn’t even lost his fire yet. If you watch any of his stand-ups–or even his TV show on FX Louis–you will understand the odd yet strong attraction I have for Mr. CK.

2. Viggo Mortensen

Je suis ramasser mon nez et les manger comme on parle *wink wink*

I first saw Viggo in the LOTR Trilogies but he didn’t really win my heart until I saw several Youtube videos of him speaking in like FIVE OR SIX OR FUCKING TEN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES. According to Wikipedia, he “speaks fluent English, Danish and Spanish; he is also conversational in French and Italian, and understands Norwegian and Swedish.” If that doesn’t get your panties dropping like Myspace hits, then you’re clearly not human at all.

1. Anthony Bourdain

"I liked the life that went with being a chef. I was getting laid, I was getting high, I was having fun. "

Anthony Bourdain is the coolest, baddest and possibly oldest man on television. Though I may be just a partially biased because he reminds me of so much like my boyfriend in the mannerisms, the younger photos, and the fact that they both appreciate all different types of food from all over the world. But really though, Bourdain somehow turned his chef career into a rockstar lifestyle. He’s a paid chef who doesn’t even have to cook. He has the best job in the world, hands down. He also seems like a real genuine guy who cares because he stands up to activists who try to ban certain foods such as foie gras. He also acknowledges the Mexican, Ecuadorian and other Spanish-speaking immigrants who make up the majority of chefs and cooks in the U.S, and strongly considers them to be the most talented chefs but are undervalued and underpaid. What an outstanding individual.

I’m really hungry now.

Chun Li is tired.

Hover ho.

I’ve been quite tired for the past couple of days because I’ve recently started making a costume for Comic-Con this year. Originally, my costume for Frost (Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance) was already made many months ago but I wasn’t very proud of it so I gave up. Last week, the motivation to reconstruct this costume had sparked once again, and now I only have about two and a half weeks to finish it!

I already fucked my costume pretty bad, so don’t expect anything great…just OK or maybe average at best. I will definitely post the actual costume though once everything is finished. For now, here are my finger tips.

This better be fucking good.

If this happened in real life, it would go something like this:

Me: Hey look–I bought a rainbow knitted sweater at Salvation Army and it was for only three bucks! In’t cool or what?

Friend: Hmm, yeah about that conversation we had last night, I think I’m going to take his advice instead and just go for iphone cover that has a really bitchin’ tribal artwork on it.

THIS is what it feels like, and it feels much worse when you’re talking about something that you feel very strongly or passionate about. I hear you cry, “But Tiff, you’re kind of a self-centered broad, you talk about yourself all the time–OF COURSE you would take offense to that!” Maybe, maybe…but I would rather have negative feedback that is related to what I’m discussing than a comment that completely shrugs the topic off:

Me: Hey look–I bought a rainbow knitted sweater!

Friend: Uh, really? What are you going to do with it? Wear it to the hipster edition of the gay pride parade? Do you think you’re a unicorn? Please don’t ever wear that around me or I’ll get an epileptic seizure and puke crayolas.

It’s definitely another form of rude, but at least this person listened and reacted to it.

We write in our blogs because we want to be heard–not try to make small talk in our comment section. As the reader, if there is an entry that is far too boring or long for you to read, then ignore it. Don’t bother trying to change the topic when you’re leaving a comment on said entry. It’s inconsiderate and it imples, “You’re entry is too long, but I want to get more comments on my site in return so here’s a ‘How are you?’ and perhaps a “About that comment you left on my entry…’” Yeah, uh, no.

This is going to be a Part Two (or perhaps an upgrade) of the original post. And assuming that most of the regular visitors on here do not have a speech problem, I will write couple of tips on how to react when you’re talking to a stutterer.

How to deal with a person who stutters

1. Please be aware that stuttering does not equate to mental retardation. Stuttering is a neurological weakness which affects the words that come out of  their mouths–not their entire mental capacity, so treat them like normal human beings.

2. Maintain normal eye contact and look normal–try not to look embarrassed or startled.

3. Do not make remarks such as, “Calm down,” “Slow down”, or “Pause, and think about what you’re going to say” (My sister use to do this a lot when I was younger and the only thing it did was make me feel very impatient and frustrated).

4. Be patient.

5. If you have a hard time understanding what they’re trying to say, don’t hesitate to ask, “I’m sorry, can you repeat that for me again?” They should know that their stuttering will make it harder for other people to understand, so don’t be afraid to ask.

6. Unless you know this person very well, refrain from finishing/correcting their sentences. This can imply that you are being impatient.

7. Basically, be yourself and be polite just as if you were to interact with any other person.

(reference)

How to deal with stuttering (or stammering)

Obviously, I’m not guaranteeing that all of your stuttering and stammering will stop overnight–heck even I still have my moments to this day. Stuttering is one of the most difficult things to overcome and it may take many years of speech therapy and practice to become better. Even though we may possibly never find the exact answers to what causes this particular frustrating speech problem, I do believe if you keep on training your brain to get into the habit of using these methods, you will improve each time.

What works for me and may not work for you. At present, I’m still struggling with certain words, but a lot of people don’t even know that I have a stuttering problem now. People tend to misinterpret my stutters as being nervous, hesitant, intimidated and insecure…or that I have a mild case of turrets.  That’s a whole another story though.

Informing them

This one is completely optional and it really depends on you and your comfort level. Each time you have a conversation with someone whom you’ve just met for the first time, casually mention that you have a speech problem somewhere in the discussion–no matter how hard it might be to say it:  “I hate it when I stutter” or “Sorry about my stuttering.”

I believe stuttering is at its worse when you’re talking to an unfamiliar person. The interaction with strangers creates anxiety and nervousness, and nervousness creates stuttering and other speech slip-ups. Letting a person know that you stutter alleviates A LOT of that uncomfortable tension for you and the person you’re talking to. You’re also clarifying and confirming to them that you DO have a stuttering problem and you’re not mentally challenged (as some folks might misinterpret stuttering for that), it’s just your speech.

Bob your head

Some people are very expressive with their hands when they’re talking. What people don’t usually notice though is you can also “talk” with your head/neck. I found that most heavy stutterers are very stagnant when they’re talking to someone else–which is something you want to avoid entirely!

Next time, sway your head back and forth, side to side as you are speaking, and if you’re having trouble with a word, bob your head like you’re about to headbang but somebody turned off the music so you only did it half way.

IE: “My dog just p-p-p-p-p*HEADBANG*peed on the carpet.”  The point of bobbing (or halfway headbanging) your head is to create a distraction for your brain. So be animated! They won’t see it comin.

Bounce your words off

There’s a really great scene in The King’s Speech where the main character, King George VI–who was also known to be a pretty awful stammerer–was giving his radio speech to the country while his speech mentor was in the same room with him, guiding him and his every spoken word. When the king came across the word he was about to stumble on, people, his mentor whispers to him, “Bounce it off! Bounce it off!” So without screwing up the word, he says, “AH-people”.

This method is so clever and it’s easily the most effective for me. If you know you’re about to screw up a word, bounce it off by discreetly adding an “A” sound in front of that word. It seems rather odd to be adding a random sound in front of a word, but people typically don’t notice.

Find a rhythm

When stutterers sing, they typically don’t stutter AT ALL mainly because they are already familiar with the lyrics and the beat of the music, so everything tends to flow very fluidly. Next time, try to someone you’re completely comfortable with, and instead of just “talking” sing your sentences by applying a beat of one of your favorite songs. If that works for you, you should do it as an exercise every day so you can get into the habit of–not so much singing–but talking with a subtle beat.

OR

Find the rhythm in what you’re saying–keeping a steady beat by rocking your feet back and forth will certainly help your speech flow better.

Conclusion

It really just isn’t all about using your mouth and vocal cords. It’s about putting your body into motion, bobbing or twitching certain parts of your body, and distracting yourself from messing up by doing those things!

If you would like to read more on stuttering, check out some of the blogs that covers it: The Stuttering Brain and Stutter Talk.

^ This style was originally implemented by Tupac, the legendary, and was later copied by Ja Rule, the retiree, in the late 90s.  Tying the bandana is very similar to the first step of tying your shoes.  But if you’re planning to use this for your look, then I suggest you to knot it! If it’s not tied into a knot (such as the photo above), it will start to loosen up.  When it gets lose, it’s bound to slip down, possibly covering your eyes, which is the perfect way to get stabbed by one of your enemies.

^ Same rules apply for this one, knot that shit up bee-or perhaps-I should say “essay” instead, since, this particular method of bandana wearing organza is the most favored by cholos. Cholos love accessories! Not only do they sport bandanas, they’re always on the lookout for black short gloves, white knee high socks, and hairnets. They like anything plaid too.

^ This is the most basic approach out of all the other styles.  Usually, people start with this, and then slowly work their way to more creative and intricate designs, such as the Tupac and Cholo ones. I tend to see more of this look on Vietnamese gangbangers.  Unlike cholos, who accessorize, Vietnamese gangbangers are specialized in growing things that tend to be abnormally longer than the norm.  And when I say “things” I mean they magically grow long catfish-lookin’ whiskers instead of mustaches, hair tails at the back of their scalp; some grow it at the top and some at the bottom, it just depends what gang you’re associated with. Also, they NEVER cut their nails on their pinky fingers; instead they file the sides to give it that sharp, pointy effect.

^ Use this one at your own risk! What use to be an underground gangster necessity, is now mainstream and has totally lost its edge in gangster culture.  In the past, gangsters would wear their color around their wrists only in circumstances that were deemed too inappropriate and tasteless to wear on their heads, circumstances such as working at McDonalds, school (that’s if they went), church, and family get-togethers. Guys who shop at Hollister, American Eagle, and Abercrombie and Fitch has, unfortunately, stolen this look and has eternally impaired the true meaning of wrist bandanas.

^ The wrap-that-bandana-around-your-mouf-son-so-you-won’t-get-snitched look was rooted all the way back from the mid 1800s, worn by American bandits such as Sam Bass, Tom Ketchum, Jesse James, Billy the Kid, et cetera.  Like wrist bananas, they too became widely popular by both men and women, and are now called “scarves” by trendy people who are not of gangster status.

(Model: Kingston, my nephew)

The movie Zoolander is one of my favorite movies of all time, and I kind of just realized that I usually end up laughing hysterically every time someone quotes a line from that film.

I was eating lunch today, and someone behind me blurted out, “It doesn’t mean that we too can’t not die in a freak gasoline fight accident” and I ended up spitting out my soda.

Yeah…I swear I’m not crazy.

So in honor of the most awesome male super-model movie ever made, I declare all Zoolander-fanatics here to quote their favorite line from the movie.

Ready? 1, 2, 3 QUOTE!!!