There’s been quite a few controversies that has been heavily discussed about the current Olympics held in Beijing, and since I’m a lover of Olympics and rumors, it’s only right for me to discuss some of the important ones.

First one is about a young girl who performed “Ode to Motherland” during Beijing’s opening. It was a delightful performance, but it turns out that she was lip-syncing! Lip-syncing wasn’t the problem actually, because the voice that was used belonged to a some other little girl, Yang Peiyi, and she wasn’t used because she wasn’t cute enough.

At first, I laughed. I know, I’m a jerk, it was pure comedy for me, but as I kept thinking about the situation and how Yang would’ve felt, my heart just dropped for the poor little undercover singer.

I can only imagine how the conversation had went…

“Hey Tiff, we love your voice, but we found a much cuter chick that’ll make this country look better. She can’t sing for shit, so we’re going to use your voice for her to lip-sync. Thanks!”

Yeah you’re welcome you selfish superficial sucking cocks!

When I first heard about it, I thought, “Man, this girl must be ugly as hell for them to only use her voice”, but when I looked at her photo and the photo of the imposter, I couldn’t even tell the difference between the two, except one’s hair is longer than the other, but other than that, all kids look a like:

Second story is about underage gymnasts from China. In order to participate in gymnastics for the Olympics you have to be at least 16 years old, but some of the girls of the Chinese Olympic team are supposedly younger than that.

China is denying the reports saying legal documents were shown, but I say fuck the documents. Fuck it. The cold hard evidence is THEM. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that these girls haven’t even reached the age of 16 yet.

You decide:

Sixteen my ass. I could pass for their mother if I looked sixteen again.

And third, is this picture of Spain’s basketball team doing slit-eyed gestures:

They don’t consider it to be inappropriate, but have they ever thought about the possible countless negative reactions that they’re about to receive from other people?

They remind me of the kind of friends I use to have that would make racist remarks right in front of you and they’d be about your or your background, but they have no idea that it could be incredibly offensive, and because it was not their intentions to hurt you, you can only forgive them for being so dumb.

Yeah, that’s how I see it with those guys. If they didn’t mean to insult us, then I can let it slide, but still, that’s a pretty dumb picture, assholes.

If you live in southern California then I’m SURE you’re aware of the earthquake that just happen today. The earthquake that struck was about a magnitude of 5.6 in the epicenter Chino Hills. Fortunately, I was not there but I was about 30 minutes away…and boy did I felt it.

I met a crazy lady at a park about two days ago and she frantically warned me to take a long vacation outside of the state as soon as possible. She predicted that there’s going to be a massive earthquake that’s going to take place in southern Cali soon and it’s going one of the deadliest ones that will kill hundreds of thousands of lives.

I thanked her, but I didn’t listen to her warnings since she was crazy.

Two days later, which was today, the moment when everything around me started to shake and wobble, I thought, “Maybe that crazy lady isn’t so crazy…fucking mother of shit WE’RE GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

We’re ok.

The earthquake lasted about 10-15 seconds here, and the terrifying experience has lead me to prep myself for the next potential disaster. Since we have a baby in the house, my sister and I talked about it and we made notes of the best spots in our house to hide under if it ever happens.

The plan sounds effective and all, but I even asked her, “What if I’m in the middle of taking a shit and all that goes down?”

I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything but has anyone ever thought of that? Has anyone ever died or gotten injured by getting clobbered by the falling ceilings while they’re trying to shit?

Man, that’s the one of the WORST time of the day to have an earthquake. I sure hope that doesn’t happen to any of us.

Alright, it’s official, the Wii owns every other game console out there in the universe. Video games, in a nutshell, are fun-there’s no doubt about that, but they’re notorious for causing severe inactivity and weight gains. To avoid potential health problems, we cannot simply reduce the amount of game time, as some of us tend to mix up “a few more minutes” for a “a few more hours.” If we can’t get away from the problem then what do we do? We channel it to something good, we channel it to the Wii Fit! Word on the streets says they’re already sold out too just after one week of releasing it.

It’s an actual game that involves actual bodily activity. It comes with the Wii Balance Board which functions as your handy dandy controller and personal scale. My only concern is that the board is white, pure white. Can you possibly imagine the countless numbers of filthy looking footprints that are going to be attacking that thing by the end of the month? Gross.

Yeah it’s kind of like DDR, except you don’t have to move in retarded-like motions and the game offers a range of activities that’ll help you get into better shape activities such as yoga, snowboarding, stretching, jogging, et cetera.

I don’t own one yet, but I think I’d purchase one in a heartbeat if pole dancing were one of Wii Fit’s fun-filled physical activities. I mean-what better way to enhance your upper body strength in a creative way than a good ol’ pole dancing lesson?

Pole dancing could be an extension of Wii Fit, given that it might get in the way of other activities (parents might not be too happy about watching their little girls swinging around poles either). You can separately purchase a pole, a Wii Pole, if you will, and somehow have it join to the Wii Balance Board.

And wallah! You have something like this:

Hmm…I think we might be on to something here.

Update 5/27: Oy vey! Look what I found Wii Pole Dancing Game