Besides doing a couple of songs here and there from Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj (of course), I’ve been trying to stick with a theme of songs which I use to adore in the late 90′s, early ’00s. During this fantastic time, it was the beginning of my teenage years. The pop and r&b songs I enjoyed were probably equivalent to currents songs people find horrifying today, but they were special to me and frankly, I didn’t give any fucks when I cranked the volume up to the maximum every time I heard them play on the radio.

10. Show Me Love by Robyn
This was practically the song I wanted to cry sing to the boy I loved even though he never really knew I existed in typing class. It’s slow, nice, and…pathetic, but it was pure genius when I was 13. Also, Robyn’s back in the music biz and she was touring with Katy Perry. In’t something or what? Forrow your dreams!

9. He Loves U Not by Dream
This song’s about girls hating on other girls, ’cause of a dude, and retarded stuff. Regardless, it was my 8th grade anthem and it kicked ass every time I played it over and over again after downloading it off of Napster. If I recalled correctly, this is probably one of the first groups Diddy created and the first group he fucked over pretty fast, so I think they deserve a little recognition here, even as little as singing their song in a karaoke room.

8. Bring it All to Me by Blaque
I thought Blaque was one of the most creative, fitting and sophisticated name anyone can ever think of for a music group consisting of blaque women. That is, to also say that I thought they were the most beautiful creatures to ever walked the earth, they were goddesses to me. This particular song was, simply put, sexy and cool, and that’s how exactly I felt whenever I sang along with it.

7. Playas Gon’ Play by 3LW
I’m not sure if people realize this but THIS song is really important to the internet. I believe, had this song never came out, we would never had the awesome and highly popularized meme that has been used over a thousand times, “HATES GONNA HATE“. As for the song, the rapping part always has sounded pretty lame to me.

6. Let Me Blow ya Mind by Even ft. Gwen Stefani
Does this really need an explanation? Next.

5. It’s Over Now by 112
I think they were more known for their Peaches N Cream song, but this one’s way more karaoke-friendly and it was just a badass breakup song overall. 112 was one of my favorite male r&b group, and they definitely created some pretty memorable music. Oh yeah, and that one guy who sings like a girl? That was cool too.

4.The Boy is Mine by Brandy and Monica
The DRAMA in these cheesy-filled lyrics! As a teen, I would say that nothing is more fun than singing this The Boy is MINE while pretending to be an attractive woman fighting with another attractive woman over the same douchebag boyfriend. Plus, I’m sure this song would be entertaining for karaoke because another person can join in. One’s Brandy and the other Monica. Let the bitchfight ensue.

3. I Want You to Want Me by Letters to Cleo
The only reason I know this song is because of the movie “10 Things I Hate About You”. I fell in love with this band as soon as I heard the singer’s voice because it sounded so fun and-and so incredibly attractive. I would totally see one of their shows if they’re still performing.

2. Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne
Before you decide to throw rocks at my face, I never liked Avril. I never liked the spelling of the song. And I never liked her goddam ties. But this song was, unfortunately, a sad and dark guilty pleasure of mine. My voice sounded oddly border-line nice for once when I belted it while taking a shower, thus any song that can make my voice sound good gets my stamp of approval. And what?

1. Hot Boyz by Missy Elliot
This is still one of my favorite songs to this day. The beat is “sick” (did I use that right?), Missy Elliot’s singing voice is dead sexy, Nas and Eve’s part were also pretty “tight” (how about that?). It’s really just has the perfect recipe for a great karaoke song, hands down. If you don’t believe me then try to rap/sing along with it and then tell me you DON’T feel like a supa dupa fly ass sexy motherfucker?

5. January Jones

"Hi, I'm beautiful, and I'm not really going to drink this milk."

Simple, gorgeous and sophisticated–she is the definition of classic beauty. I first heard about January during the time when Jason Sudeikis was banging her, but it was the movie Unknown (2011) that had gotten her my full attention. I couldn’t help but notice how little or simple her makeup was in the movie because she still managed to look like a perfect ten (HOW DO DEY DO DAT?!)

I get a sense that she’s assertive and confident…or perhaps just a stubborn and uptight woman. I don’t know, I’m really just judging off from a funny quote of her’s when asked about bitches and high school: “Where are you getting this shit? It sounds like something I might have said when I was, like, 15. The bitches in high school were bitches because I was pretty.”

Say what you will, but the blunt & bitchy attitude vibe I get from her is more entertaining instead of annoying, and it just makes her that more desirable (it also helps that she’s basically Emma Frost, can’t wait to watch the movie!).

4. Mila Kunis

"lf1m tank and ranged dps, pst your ilvl and achivments"

I’ve always admired the Russian hottie but fell in love with her instantly after finding out she was actually a super hot geek who use to play World of Warcraft with her then-boyfriend, Macaulay Culkin. This girl played it for sure–not some bullshit where the highest level you reached was only 20–she’s the real deal. I once remember reading an article where the interviewer quizzed her on her knowledge of the MMO and she got most of the questions right.

Several years ago, I also watched her get punk’d by one of Ashton Kutcher’s usual celebrity pranks, and all I remember was her yelling in Russian, pissed off as ever. It was actually very sexy, speaking–well in this case, yelling, in her native tongue and all. Mila is obviously every geek’s fantasy.

3. Taylor Momsen

You are going to jail for looking at this picture.

Yeah, I’m aware that she’s still underage and 17 but I swear it won’t be that creepy anymore until you read this again a month later.

It’s not all too surprising to me that she was the same innocent and adorable little girl who we once first saw in How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000).  Today, she’s got crazy raccoon eyes, dressed as to what people are comparing to as a hooker, flashed the crowd with her jailbait-tittys, and she’s got her own rockband, The Pretty Reckless. I like her because she mature yet rebellious. She’s always looking like a total trainwreck yet somehow still remains glamorous. She’s the “product of the industry”–the perfect example of what would happen if your parents forced you into acting at such a young age.

I like her band so far. Sure, the music sounds kind of wannabe rock n’ roll, but she’s only 17, man. She’s got potential and one hell of a great voice for a yougin’.

Also, she’s got a really great pair of fucking boots.

2. Adele

"There's a baaaad itch coming from his balls!"

She’s a beautiful woman with a powerful voice–her voice, HER VOICE, why is her voice so largely magnificent and out of this world!? There are no gimmicks to Adele whatsoever. She looks healthy and dresses fairly normal–no super bras that shoot out children or fireworks, no pair of sunglasses dipped in fabulous disco lights. It’s just her and her god-like voice, singing in the mic on a regular stage, and the audience is enamored.

It’s quite clear that she’s incredibly talented and has a gift. Adele can even sing about a man scratching his ballsack and it would still sound like the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard.

1. Natalie Portman

"Why yes, I was sperminated by a swan-man."

Well, I guess you’re not too surprised to see her at the top spot since she’s at the peak of her career, winning awards for “Best Actress” left and right–but seriously–she’s got the whole package. She’s a hardass who knows how to rock a bald head and she’s kind of intimidating, “I’m going to college. I don’t care if it ruins my career. I’d rather be smart than a movie star,” Her words not mine.

You knew she was going to be successful from the moment you saw her awesome performance in Leon: The Professional (1994), but she exceeded our expectations by being ridiculously hilarious and laugh-out-loud funny when she rapped in a SNL skit (it was apparently her idea to rap), graduating from Harvard with a B.A. degree in Psychology, and getting knocked up by a ballerina. These sort of things don’t happen to people everyday!

Also, in high school, she wrote a paper titled, “A Simple Method to Demonstrate the Enzymatic Production of Hydrogen from Sugar”…I don’t even know what any of that means!

Natalie Portman is a beyond gorgeous, funny, talented and intelligent woman. If I could trade places would anyone, it’d definitely be her (maybe before the pregnancy).

The first was “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button“. This is a beautifully made film. It is so good that I don’t think I can ever describe and capture the true beauty of this film. Everything about this film- the makeup, the editing, the acting, the pacing, the visuals, et cetera is a work of art.

There’s something that films can rarely make me do, and that’s crying. Two films I can only remember that actually made me cry a lot were “The Lion King” and “Wall-E” (“The Lion King” probably doesn’t count because that was in first grade). Now, I can proudly add Benjamin Button to the list of films that jerked my tears, because it did, in fact, made me cry like a little baby. I even bawled in the beginning of the film when I saw Benjamin as a seven year old. Just seeing the image of a child (he was born “old” and ages in reverse) who’s unable to walk or even stand up, because he had a 70 year old something weak and shriveled up body was already emotional for me. I was immediately drawn in to Brad Pitt’s character, and I was convinced that he was an actual child, and not of an elderly man despite his appearance.

Benjamin is physically getting younger and everyone body else around him is growing older, thus making the conclusion of the film to be inevitable. My brother (yes, the guy who didn’t like my Christmas gift) said it was one of the movie’s major flaws, but I beg to differ. Knowing the outcome of the film sure as hell doesn’t spoil shit. It is not the meat of the story, it is how the story evolves is what makes it so captivating.

I would also like to point out the digital effects used in the film; it is so advanced and well made that it doesn’t look like the work of CGI. I mean really it’s flawless. The transformation that Brad Pitt (Benjamin) undergoes through roughly every stage of his life is breathtaking.

The film also offers healthy doses of comedic relief…lightning. That’s all I’m going to say haha.

The ending of Benjamin Button was deeply moving and riveting. It made me wonder about the cruelty of time and nature, and how nothing ever lasts.

The next film I watched was “Slumdog Millionaire“. Before watching this, I read a synopsis of said film and it really didn’t get my attention at all. From what I can tell, it was about a dude who was a contestant on India’s own “Who Wants to be A Millionaire” and he was getting all the answers right and shit. Wow boring! This plot is lame! I was not planning to see this movie, at all, until other people had recommended it to me afterwards.

So I went to see the movie the other day, and boy was I wrong.

Everything about this movie is memorizing and the structure of the story was handled with sheer meticulousness.

I really liked the way modern India was depicted. It revealed the cold harsh reality of child exploitation, greed and violence. And thorough out the film, we see the nation develop into an economic power country. The visuals were vibrant and flourishing; it captured the mountains of garbage and waste, it captured the fast moving trains, it captured the ridged roofs of shanty towns, and other parts of the country where tourists rarely gets to see.

Even the subtitles caught my attention. It was colorful and it popped out in random places, I loved it!

I’ve never seen a movie quite like Slumdog before. The very ending of the film threw me off, but in a good way, kind of like, “What-what the hell are they doing?…Oh ok that’s kind of neat.”

I highly recommend both Slumdog and Benjamin Button, they are both at the top of my list as best movies for 2008.

You know what I don’t recommend? “Seven Pounds“. Hly shit that was the third movie I watched yesterday, and I absolutely hated it.

Since this film failed at being awesome (or even “average”), I will make this snappy and write a list of why it sucked hard:

- There were a lot of flashbacks in this film where you can’t tell if it’s a flashback or not, thus throwing a lot of people off.

- The relationship between Ben Thomas and Emily Posa (Rosario Dawson) is extremely premature that their love for each other did not seem genuine, and it would’ve been considered psychotic and idiotic if it were to happen in real life.

- It’s boring. Ben Thomas (Will Smith) is constantly stalking and harassing people, you don’t know why he’s doing it, and most importantly, you don’t really care to know.

- His motives behind his peculiar actions are finally revealed in the end, and once you find out, it’s like, “That’s it? This is what I’ve been waiting for?”

- The focal point of the story is that Ben is trying to help people. Though he doesn’t seem to connect with the people he tries to help (except Emily), and his actions to “help” others seem impulsive and contrived, and it doesn’t come from the heart.

- This is supposed to be a tear-jerker movie, but I didn’t shed a single tear, in fact, I did the opposite, I laughed.

- Hint: Jellyfish made me laugh.

In other words, don’t see this movie. Check out “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and “Slumdog Millionaire”, you won’t be sorry!

I hated it.  I really didn’t like any of the performances either.  And I guess it’s cool that MTV used Paramount studios to create like, movie-like scenes and meshed them with some of the performances, but what totally sucks is that none of the performers really took advantage of that.

Yeah, you have stuff blowing up, and there’s Pink breaking mirrors and windows, which is typical of her to break shit, but seriously, where’s the wow factor in that? They were all boring as hell.

Also, the awards took place literally at like a small venue, and the capacity of the room (yes, ROOM) could probably hold a little over a hundred.  Or even less. You know, that explains a lot though, I was checking out the prices of the tickets to the VMAs a while ago and all of them cost at least a thousand bucks.  The cheapest ones usually cost around hundred.

But anyway, I’ve watched every VMAs ever since I was a little youngster, and every VMAs was always held at some large, extravagant amphitheater, so to bring the VMAs into a small, cheap space for the first time makes me feel claustrophobic and not as privileged.

And the host—Russell Brand—isn’t that funny, at least not in the awards show.  He talked about the Jonas Brothers the most, and the fact that all three of them have purity rings.  None of the jokes referring to the “Jo Bros” wasn’t even close to funny, but Brand wouldn’t give it a rest.

To conclude, VMAs is the worst VMAs of all time.  It definitely did not measure up to their previous awards show.  It was at the lowest of low.  It was the suckiest of sucked.  Host sucked. Setting sucked.  Performances all sucked. I want my three hours back.

So here, I present to you my topnotch list of outrageously good looking Eurasian/Hapa men:

5. Dennis Oh (actor/model)

This guy has enough hotness to liquefy a 50-ton block of ice and a football field of Frostys the snowman. His smile is remarkably innocent yet peculiarly hypnotic that getting rejection from women is probably unheard of to Dennis. Also, his immaculate features and good bone structures render him immune to failure and ugly chicks.

4. Troy (model)

If Elvis Presley were to morph into a scrawny Asian guy, he would probably look like Troy. Troy has a very mysterious, odd and edgy appearance that I once thought was originated from another dimension, a majestic fantasyland most likely known as Eurashotnessia. From looking at his photos, I get this huge vibe that he performs really weird and abnormal and kinky shit in bed…I mean after all he is from another world.

3. Justin Nozuka (musician)

RichL and I are total fans of Justin. Only difference is that she’s of fan of his music, and I’m a fan of his hotness. He has one of the best convincing puppy dog eyes and he seems to radiate a sense of heart, refined innocence, and slight geekiness, which are some of the traits that I find to be oddly charming in the opposite sex.

2. Daniel Henney (actor/model)

I once watched a documentary about his mother visiting him in Korea, and despite the palpable hotness he emitted through my computer screen, it turns out that he actually has a personality and is a genuine momma’s boy. The poor baby was literally crying a flood when his mom had to leave to the airport. And to top it all off, he has a role in the film X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Whoa!

1. Daniel Cloud Campos (dancer)

He is a talented b-boy/dancer (hence being a former backup dancer for Madonna) and could possibly kick your ass with a single windmill whip of high-energetic-metabolic-double-standard-roundhouse-kick to the throat. He has a keen eye for art and possesses his own unique style—most of which are manic, anorexic looking cartoon characters that are probably related to the aliens from the movie Space Jam. There’s fast-paced movement and life that is projected throughout his work, and that’s what makes it so appealing. Overall, Cloud is much more than an emblem of hotness, and that’s why he gets the number one spot on my legit list.

I got the chance to watch The Strangers today and there was really not much reaction after watching it. If I had to give a grading for the film, it’d be somewhere along the lines of a D.

There were a few scenes that left chills at the back of my neck (ie the way that the film was shot suggested that the masked figures could have been anywhere), but it did not make up for the awful and utterly predictable overall story.

Personally, an excellent (but rare) modern day horror film would not rely on people or random objects bursting out of dark corners, unexpected loud thumps and other things that would drive the audience to jump in surprise and fear. Any horror movie can do that.

The Strangers is the epitome of “jump out” scares. One or two times is okay, I can take that, but to have that reoccur over and over and over again is just distracting. There was not one single moment where I was relaxed during the film, since there was always a silent moment and then a sudden BWWAAAAHK!!! Following by piercing screams of Liv Tyler. Let’s just say I was less concerned with the movie, and more concerned about not looking like a pussy.

And finally, another reason why this film gets a D grade is because the protagonists repeats the mistakes that victims in generic horror movies always make. Basically, they’re retarded and fail at my list of what NOT to do in a horror movie (future post).

All in all, it’s an alright movie. The plot is pretty much straightforward, no twists, no turns…go figure.