As you may already know, my default hair is short and black. And the bangs usually curl, so that’s always cute.

The wig came with this hair net thing that I thought only gangsters wore for their local gang meet-ups. Guess not.

And here it is! The color is smokey blue gray and totally rad. Hehe, I look like a beautiful Korean guy.

Turtleneck sweater, coat and pants: H&M. Furry hat: Forever 21. Angrybird: He just flew out of nowhere

(Deep) Thoughts when this picture was taken:

“Geez this is awkward, I don’t know what to do with my hands for this picture. QUICK–grab something. Ah, much better.”

“Is this hat too silly? Do people even know it’s a hat instead of a possibly bad mullet?”

“Haven’t worn a turtleneck in a long time, I hope I don’t get laughed at. But Mitch Hedberg was right all along, it does in fact feel like getting strangled by a really weak guy all day.

“I’m thrilled that the weather is getting colder. Two reasons: Sleeping at night while hiding under all of my blankets just got more snuggly-festive. And most importantly, I get to wear all my cool hats and coats again. I hope I can take more pictures of myself during my crazy coat-and-hat phase…but perhaps holding something less noticeable next time.”

“However there are two things that I don’t like about this chilly weather: Foggy windows in my car that keep on refogging after you wipe them, and 5-inch extended nipples. JUST KIDDING. My windows never re-fog.”

5. Charlie’s Angels (2000?) - I’m not sure if it was part 1 or 2, but the very first scene begins with a phone or possibly a radio they use to speak to Charlie with. Either way, it was ringing and ringing. Nobody was there to answer it until a Hispanic lady, sitting somewhere in the movie theater said, “bueno?…bueno?” in between rings, like it was her own phone. The entire audience laughed.

4. Don’t Remember the Name (Oops) – A group of bratty high school girls sat at the very front of the row and decided to be annoying by singing and yelling out random things that had nothing to with the trailer. A person in the crowd shouted “Shut the hell up!”

The annoying main high school girl turned around and yelled back, “Who said that!?”

Then another random person in the crowd shouted, “Just turn back around!”

“Say it in front of my face!” The high school girl stood up, obviously trying really hard to look tough in front of everybody.

At this point, everyone in the theater started yelling and heckling at the girls. We were all just pretty fed up and annoyed by the disruptions they’ve caused, but after that little chaos, they behaved quite well.

3. Mortal Kombat (1995) – I was only seven years old at the time and Mortal Kombat was actually the very first movie I’ve watched in a movie theater. When the credits started rolling at the end, some random guy sitting in the back, screamed at the top of his lungs ”MORTAL KOMBAAATTTTTTT!!!!!!! I was impressed. He sounded just like like the original yelling voice in the kickass theme song. As a kid, I was in complete awe I could’ve sworn it was the same guy.

2. Snakes on a Plane (2006) – This is one of those rare movies you had to see with a large group of people, strangers or not.  When I went to see this movie alone, there were a lot of things that made the movie even better because of the crowd. I think it was just a combination of watching it with a fun crowd who happened to be really into the movie, and the fact that the movie is just plain silly. It kind of felt like I was in a really huge living room because everyone seemed so comfortable to a point where some of them yelled out stuff during the movie, which is usually unacceptable (see #4), but for this movie only it was suitable. For instance, some guy panicked and yelled out, “No…no…NO. Do not tell me the snake is going to bite her sweet tits!” We all laughed. Oh, and let’s not forget about the infamous Samuel L. Jackson line we’d all scream out in unison, everyone went berserk.

1. Signs (2002) – It’s that one stressful scene: Mel Gibson takes a kitchen knife, and he slides it slooooooowly under the door to catch a reflection of what was on the other side. As we were all in the moment of anticipation, a large Samoan guy sitting a couple of seats behind me abruptly stood up, brought his hands out and yelled “RAaaaaWWWWRRRRRR!!!” After that, all you could hear was everyone screaming at the top of their lungs, but it was quickly followed by everyone laughing hysterically (out of relief I’m sure).

1. Animal Pixel Painting — Whoa! Totally did not expect to get this painting simply because it was already sold out! But it turns out, my boyfriend bought this painting before I even posted it on my entry. What a sneaky guy, but hey, he definitely knows what I like.

(The rest of the gifts I’m about to list were all from my amazing buddy Jules, thank you love!)

2. Pink floral clutch-bag — It’s probably just a makeup bag by default, but I think it would also make a great clutch/purse. I lurve it!

3. Wired bow headband — This is really neat! Since the bow is made out of wires, I’m able to shape the bow to however I want. Hell to the yeah.

4. Hello Kitty sketch book — This is such a good quality Hello Kitty sketch book that I’m too intimidated to even draw in it. The cover has a weaving texture to it, and the design is very simple but extremely adorable nonetheless.

5. Purple Victorian picture frame — It has photos of good-looking white people in it!

6. Egg light — Yes, it is an egg and when you press the yolk it lights up. Muchly needed for my kind of egglectic life.

8. Cozy Pink Socks — If you look up “cute” in the dictionary, you should be able to find a picture of these.

9. Pink “Crackle” nail polish & Confetti nail polish — Holy shit! This nail polish is CRAZY pink and they CRACK-A-LACK when you paint them on yo nails! I’m really excited to try them. The glitter ones are also really bitchin’ too. C’mon old paint nail polish, chip the fuck off already.

10. Gigantic Pen disguised as a Gigantic Microphone — I…I…I-I am lost for words.

We were meant to be together.

Well, that about wraps it up! Thank you for my boyfriend and Jules for the spectacular birthday gifts. I seriously cannot wait to play with my new favorite toys.

One of my tickle hotspots lies on the right side of my waist (don’t even dare), and it becomes the most active when I’m thinking about…said waist. That’s right. Since I am typing this, it also means that I’m automatically thinking about it. So I’m being slightly tickled at the waist at this very moment. My own body can tickle myself. How brutally screwed up is that?

There must be something psychological about it, you know? I’ve probably been tickled at the waist by annoying relatives, asshole brothers and that one creepy kid who had a crush on me in kindergarten all of my life, so now every time I even focus on my right waist, my body cringes and prepares for the tickle-fest (when they’re really isn’t one).

Here’s the second part. When my boyfriend and I nap together (we like naps), he sometimes spoons me (we like spooning). Every time I feel his breathing down on the back of my neck, it tickles the right side of my ass cheek. I’m not kidding and it happens Every. Damn. Time. You would think his manly breath would tickle the back of my neck because that’s where it’s coming in contact with, but no, my body is all sorts of screwed up, wires are probably crossed, thus one side of my ass cheek ends up getting the tickle-rape.

I can never be spooned again.

When I was trying to sleep last night, I couldn’t help but think how unbelievably trippy it would be to keep this blog running and keep on posting pictures of myself, until I’m too old to wear regular underwear (yikes). And I thought, god, how weird would it be to see a timeline of my self slowly growing old, aging and all that depressing stuff by simply keeping this blog active and updating it at least a few times a month…forever.

At present, this is how the “About” section of this site starts:

Hello, I’m Tiff and I’m all about naps, eating good food, and rollerblading–yes–rollerblading. It’s a wonderful activity and I hope that one day, hipsters will abandon their mopeds and beach cruisers to jump on the rollerblade wagon.

34 years later…

Hello, I’m Tiffany Huong Ngoc and I’m all about taking care of my 32 grandchildren, giving them socks for Christmas, and watching Korean drama before going to bed–yes–Korean drama. They have captivating series and I hope that one day, these damn tricksters will abandon their Chinese movies because their dubbing still blows like a hooker to this day.

Oh how I look forward to the future of my life in blog format.

For the first picture–in attempt to not freak the readers out with my bare face–I stayed at a distance from the mirror, opened my eyes, and turned my head to a safe angle. I also kept the bathrobe and towel on for potential cuteness. This was the result:

Then I later thought that this picture was a little deceiving. In truth, I was really feeling like shit. One of the many things I’m allergic to is dust. Since I don’t really do a good job at vacuuming my bedroom often, I was really asking for an allergy-attack. So of course, all poise was dropped, my nose was red and constantly running like wild river, and my eyes could hardly open because they were so watery. This is how I really felt, underneath it all (wow that should be a song):

Ah, such a delicate swan. Now on to the makeup. The first “layer” (lol) is foundation and then drawing in the eyebrows. Eyebrows are most important. I could’ve been mistaken as a walking pork chop to a rottweiler had I not filled those eyebrows in. Instead, what you get it is Planet of the Apes:

Here comes the dark eyeshadow and liquid liner. I like the cat eye style. It makes me look more like a cat and less of an ape (see photo above)–cats are a lot more good looking than apes IMO:

My hair is finally dried and now I can curl my betty bangs in. Blushin’ the cheeks. Lipstickin’ the lips for extra sexiness:

We finish this baby off with the hair tied up into a messy bun, and a pair of  D&G glasses:

Now, we are ready to rule the school.

Edit: Woops. My boyfriend said they weren’t eggs, they’re larva. So as you read this, replace all “eggs” with larva instead.

This morning I was watching my dad burn the hornet’s nest that was stuck to the front porch’s ceiling. He didn’t burn their home entirely, just enough so that the wasps would all drop like flies, and they did. Just witnessing a family of half dead and half toasted wasps raining upon my porch was so incredibly puke-worthy but fortunately I managed to contain myself.

To make matters worse, he removed whatever was left of the hornet’s nest with his bare hands–I gagged a little–and he said to me, “You know, back in Vietnam, you can cook the eggs in here and eat it.”

Yeah, thanks dad, that helps a lot.

He then went back to the house with the hornet nest in his hands, I followed him with a NO-YOU-ARE-NOT-RLY-GONNA-EAT-THEM attitude and watched him put it in the microwave as it cooked for about 30 seconds. He then took the nest–which was now literally frying & sizzling at the time–with him back to the table in the kitchen and started to pick out the little eggs that eventually landed in his mouth.

As he chewed the little hornet eggs, he laughs and goes, “Wow! This is good, this is good.”

That. That was on our front porch man.

I never seen him so happy before. He was like a little boy who found the lost treasure. This rare yet real happiness I see in my father managed to spark my curiosity into trying the eggs myself.

“Um, mind if I try one dad?”

He passed me an egg. Of course, I was hesitant. Very hesitant, but, screw it, I threw that crap in my mouth, chewed it some, and swallowed it. And you know what? It wasn’t so bad. It’s almost like eating sunflower seeds where there’s no distinctive taste to it but we eat it anyway because they’re easy to munch on. The texture of the eggs were quite pleasant as well.

I smiled at my dad and he smiles back at me–totally enjoying the rare bonding time we have together by picking out the hornet’s nest.

Woo. What a M. Night Shyamalan twist.

I’m just going to start spouting whatever comes out of my mind on this entry until I get, hopefully, sleepy. I have nothing better to do. Blogging nonsensically sure as hell beats laying on the bed consciously for hours.

Let’s go:

1. The unpleasant growling of my stomach, for some unknown reason, sometimes get mistaken for the sound of farts. I don’t mind so much if it happens around my friends, but if it’s in a classroom, lobby or any other quiet room full of strangers–then it’s not cool at all. I can’t say out loud, “Wait–that was my stomach, seriously guys,” unless I don’t mind running the risk of sounding weird. Crap. Which is worse? Letting strangers think you’re weird by announcing it actually came from the stomach OR letting strangers think you’re a gross person for “farting” in public by not saying anything at all? Tough call.
2. The most unattractive-sounding slang word thing is “schlong”. It’s gross, just gross. Every time I hear someone use that, I picture this icky gargantuan penis slapping people’s faces left and right.
3. Ever since Facebook existed, I seriously can’t stand looking at some people’s faces and their facial expressions. I’m sure there are people who probably can’t stand mine, whatever. But uh, seriously–I’m sure they are good people and they mean well–but some of these faces, these redundant expressions, I see truly deserve a good slapping.
4. On my free time, I’ve been trying to “study” different accents of the English language so I can imitate them in the most convincing way possible. It’s not for an audition or anything, it’s really just for fun and out of pure interest. I think it’s marvelous and quite funny at the same time that just ONE language can sound so utterly different in so many different ways depending where you come from.
5. I don’t believe chicks who wear I <3 NERDS t-shirts actually a have a thing for them. Nerds aren’t hot. Dorks aren’t either. They’re quite hideous in real life, so stop thinking that most of them look like the cast from “The Big Bang Theory”.

Ok, now I’m sleepy. G’night folks (well technically, g’morning).

Wow! I’m finally back from my trip to Comic-Con and I have pictures to share! Before posting them, I’d like to say that I had such a kickass time while I was there and I’m already yearning to go back. I miss Con and downtown San Diego, dearly. There are a lot of photos I took so I’m going to try my best to organize them in a way that your head won’t blow up. The photos that didn’t quite make it to this post will soon go in to my Flickr.

The photos which did make it however will be sorted in these four groups:

• My Cosplay: The costumes I wore to Con
• The Floor: Pictures that were actually taken at Comic-Con
• Food Porn: The extremely delicious and mouth-watering food I ate during my stay in downtown San Diego
• Creepy Ass Hotel: We stayed at the Horton Grand Hotel, it’s old and supposedly haunted

 My Cosplay

I went to Comic-Con for Three days. The first day I was dressed up as “reversed” Nintendo’s Mario, second day was a gothic Lolita and thirdly was my most prized, Frost from Mortal Kombat.

My Frost cosplay received a lot of compliments, in fact, I was interviewed by two different networks because of this costume. I’m glad this happened because I worked pretty hard constructing it and even waking up 7 in the morning to start the tedious process of the makeup and hair.

The Floor

These photos are only a small part of what made up my time in Comic-Con.

Food Porn

What I really love about Downtown San Diego is that they’re full of awesome little restaurants and shops that are not tied to any sort of chain or franchise. I took full advantage of that and ended up eating some of the most delicious things on the planet.

Creepy Ass Hotel

My boyfriend and I ended up loving this hotel because it was just full of fucking creeps and we swear it’s haunted by friendly spirit(s). Everything about this hotel seems old, charming and weird. The furniture are pretty outdated and Victorian. We didn’t see any ghosts or inanimate objects flying across the room, but we did experience a sudden temperature rise in the middle of the night that both of us ended up waking up at the same time. We also noticed that when we first walked to the elevator to go to the convention, the elevator door opened by themselves but no one was inside.

On our first night, as we walked to the hotel, these two random guys asked us “You guys are staying there?” There was a puzzled look to their faces.

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Well, you guys know it’s haunted right?” One of the dudes asked.

“Yeah,” and I walked in to my hotel, feeling like a total badass.

PS – This is me chocking Aziz Ansari: