After I had taken my shower I thought it’d be really neat to either copy Scarlett Johansson or demonstrate how I put my makeup on by taking pictures of myself step-by-step. I choose the makeup, because I think the Asian face is interesting. Generally, we have such simple and small features, that when it comes to makeup, we can almost transform into a different person. To me, I think that’s a pretty fun thing to have (despite how much the internet likes to poke fun at it…including myself).

For the first picture–in attempt to not freak the readers out with my bare face–I stayed at a distance from the mirror, opened my eyes, and turned my head to a safe angle. I also kept the bathrobe and towel on for potential cuteness. This was the result:

Then I later thought that this picture was a little deceiving. In truth, I was really feeling like shit. One of the many things I’m allergic to is dust. Since I don’t really do a good job at vacuuming my bedroom often, I was really asking for an allergy-attack. So of course, all poise was dropped, my nose was red and constantly running like wild river, and my eyes could hardly open because they were so watery. This is how I really felt, underneath it all (wow that should be a song):

Ah, such a delicate swan. Now on to the makeup. The first “layer” (lol) is foundation and then drawing in the eyebrows. Eyebrows are most important. I could’ve been mistaken as a walking pork chop to a rottweiler had I not filled those eyebrows in. Instead, what you get it is Planet of the Apes:

Here comes the dark eyeshadow and liquid liner. I like the cat eye style. It makes me look more like a cat and less of an ape (see photo above)–cats are a lot more good looking than apes IMO:

My hair is finally dried and now I can curl my betty bangs in. Blushin’ the cheeks. Lipstickin’ the lips for extra sexiness:

We finish this baby off with the hair tied up into a messy bun, and a pair of  D&G glasses:

Now, we are ready to rule the school.

Edit: Woops. My boyfriend said they weren’t eggs, they’re larva. So as you read this, replace all “eggs” with larva instead.

This morning I was watching my dad burn the hornet’s nest that was stuck to the front porch’s ceiling. He didn’t burn their home entirely, just enough so that the wasps would all drop like flies, and they did. Just witnessing a family of half dead and half toasted wasps raining upon my porch was so incredibly puke-worthy but fortunately I managed to contain myself.

To make matters worse, he removed whatever was left of the hornet’s nest with his bare hands–I gagged a little–and he said to me, “You know, back in Vietnam, you can cook the eggs in here and eat it.”

Yeah, thanks dad, that helps a lot.

He then went back to the house with the hornet nest in his hands, I followed him with a NO-YOU-ARE-NOT-RLY-GONNA-EAT-THEM attitude and watched him put it in the microwave as it cooked for about 30 seconds. He then took the nest–which was now literally frying & sizzling at the time–with him back to the table in the kitchen and started to pick out the little eggs that eventually landed in his mouth.

As he chewed the little hornet eggs, he laughs and goes, “Wow! This is good, this is good.”

That. That was on our front porch man.

I never seen him so happy before. He was like a little boy who found the lost treasure. This rare yet real happiness I see in my father managed to spark my curiosity into trying the eggs myself.

“Um, mind if I try one dad?”

He passed me an egg. Of course, I was hesitant. Very hesitant, but, screw it, I threw that crap in my mouth, chewed it some, and swallowed it. And you know what? It wasn’t so bad. It’s almost like eating sunflower seeds where there’s no distinctive taste to it but we eat it anyway because they’re easy to munch on. The texture of the eggs were quite pleasant as well.

I smiled at my dad and he smiles back at me–totally enjoying the rare bonding time we have together by picking out the hornet’s nest.

Woo. What a M. Night Shyamalan twist.

Ah geez, I shouldn’t have ordered that large boba tea last night because I can’t fall asleep, at all. This rarely happens. My mind isn’t exactly use to this so I’m going bonkers. But, here I am, on the computer with my sunglasses on because my eyes can’t stand bright light at the moment.

I’m just going to start spouting whatever comes out of my mind on this entry until I get, hopefully, sleepy. I have nothing better to do. Blogging nonsensically sure as hell beats laying on the bed consciously for hours.

Let’s go:

1. The unpleasant growling of my stomach, for some unknown reason, sometimes get mistaken for the sound of farts. I don’t mind so much if it happens around my friends, but if it’s in a classroom, lobby or any other quiet room full of strangers–then it’s not cool at all. I can’t say out loud, “Wait–that was my stomach, seriously guys,” unless I don’t mind running the risk of sounding weird. Crap. Which is worse? Letting strangers think you’re weird by announcing it actually came from the stomach OR letting strangers think you’re a gross person for “farting” in public by not saying anything at all? Tough call.
2. The most unattractive-sounding slang word thing is “schlong”. It’s gross, just gross. Every time I hear someone use that, I picture this icky gargantuan penis slapping people’s faces left and right.
3. Ever since Facebook existed, I seriously can’t stand looking at some people’s faces and their facial expressions. I’m sure there are people who probably can’t stand mine, whatever. But uh, seriously–I’m sure they are good people and they mean well–but some of these faces, these redundant expressions, I see truly deserve a good slapping.
4. On my free time, I’ve been trying to “study” different accents of the English language so I can imitate them in the most convincing way possible. It’s not for an audition or anything, it’s really just for fun and out of pure interest. I think it’s marvelous and quite funny at the same time that just ONE language can sound so utterly different in so many different ways depending where you come from.
5. I don’t believe chicks who wear I <3 NERDS t-shirts actually a have a thing for them. Nerds aren’t hot. Dorks aren’t either. They’re quite hideous in real life, so stop thinking that most of them look like the cast from “The Big Bang Theory”.

Ok, now I’m sleepy. G’night folks (well technically, g’morning).