TiffsBloggy

Extreme Makeunder

I had some time to spare so I decided to leave my mediocre geektastic looking self today to perform a little makeup test run on my face. And if you haven’t read my last entry yet, I’m going to be an awesomely badass Tokidoki girl for a fun event, and since I’m no superstar makeup artist, I need to prep myself.

And this is my first attempt:

(btw I wasn’t flipping off the camera)

Expecting to look like a beautiful work of art, I ended up looking like a beautiful Thai tranny…I did not sign up to be a Thai tranny for Comic Con!!

In attempt to alleviate some of the anger that I have for my manly Thai facial features, I tried to turn my hair into a trashy Peggy Bundy like bun (which only took two seconds), and executed a great Amy Winehouse Aimee Wonghouse impersonation.

Say hello to your tokidoki girl

A friend and I had a nice conversation at a frozen yogurt bar last night and discussed our attire for this year’s Comic Con.

I don’t know about her yet, but I’ve decided that I’m going to dress up for the convention as… a Tokidoki girl! Oh the excitement! Oh the thrills!

I can’t wait to change my hair. I can’t wait to wear make up. I can’t wait to draw fake Tokidoki tattoo sleeves on my arms and back. I can’t wait to show off their accessories. And I’m totally oogling like a typical teenage girl!

I’m not entirely sure what I should wear and how I want my hair to look like (for those that know me, you know I’m definitely not afraid to cut and dye my hair every month or so!) , if you have any suggestions please send them in.

This is off topic but it’s my little reminder for those who like what I like: The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Capsian, the movie, is going to hit the theaters this friday the 16th. Whoa COW! You bet your ass I’ll be at the movies chowing down on my popcorn. So buy them tickets.

Anyways, on topic:

Tokidoki! <3

I made a monster.

I made a horrible mistake yesterday. My niece was having trouble making a mask so I insisted to help her.

Well…it turns out that the mask I made for her is creepy as fuck! Especially when it’s on little kids, it’s fucking creepy. And the simple fact that she never wanted to take it off added more creepiness to the whole situation.

I have proof of its creeptivity:

Aw man what the hell is that?! She needs to take the mask off before it controls her to steal candy and hurt tiny animals.

The mask CERTAINLY reminds me of The Strangers, a horror movie that’s set to come out on May 30. From what I can tell, it’s about a young couple who are terrorized by a family of twisted mask-wearing murderers that sneak into the couple’s house. Judging by the trailer, it looks very scary, and very scary is very good. And yes, I’ll be watching this on the 30th.

Here’s a screen shot of the movie that happens to look like the picture I took of my niece. Ahhhhhhhh!!

The Renaissance Faire

I don’t have much to write for today, only posted pictures that I took at the Renaissance Pleasure Fair in Irwindale. All in all, I had too much fun and ate waay too much.

Enjoy the photos! You can find a few more on my flickr.

You might recognize these guys…

I <3 Dentist.

Am I the only person in this universe who actually enjoys going to the dentist?

I have an appointment with the dentist tomorrow afternoon and since I’m so delighted about my forthcoming oral spa-like treatment, thought I’d should share how immense my love is for the dentists to you.

Like any normal child, I, too, was once petrified of them. No, but really, I’m surprised that I’m not traumatized by the first dentist-turned-Freddy Kruger that I had in my childhood years. I’m telling you, man, that bitch was the worst of THE WORST dentist you could possibly get, and she probably hated kids too.

The lady that I use to get my teeth done usually wore a white lab coat that always had crusted blotches of red and brown splattered all around the stomach area. She was always talking smack about how gross my teeth were to my mother, but the assistant would always come to my rescue and mumble his obliging words of encouragement to me such as, “Don’t listen to her she just likes being mean.”

She never injected enough Novocain into my gums, so every tooth that was pulled, every tooth that was repetitively yanked by her stingy-i-don’t-want-to-waste-my-novocain-butthole, I had felt (could you have imagine the molars?!?!).

When I found out I had to surgically remove four of my wisdom teeth at the age of 17, the first thing I did was to find a new dentist practice because there was no way on earth I’d go back to that place which bears a striking resemblance of the movie Hostel to SURGICALLY remove MY wisdom teeth. No, hell no, that’s like equivalent to eating a pile of boogers and then jumping into a river of flesh eating piranhas.

Well I had later found a new place that I actually liked. The people seemed caring and professional, as they should; everything was clean including their lab coats. And you get your own personal room with a TV at the top of the corner. Yeah, TVs always good, but sometimes I get this dentist that has really huge tits and her tits are always blocking the TV when she performs on my teeth, and I’m always tempted to ask her to move her tits out of the way so I could watch an episode of Full House, but I guess that’s alright.

I’ve been going there for the past couple of years because the stuff they do to my teeth feels like a luxurious massage made in heaven, including the shots they inject into my gums whenever I need to get my cavities filled. Yeah it is sort of painful, but it hurts so good!

They even told me that I make their job a piece of cake. Did you know that dentists have one of the highest suicidal rates than most careers? That’s because people either hate them or they’re completely terrified of them or both. It’s unfortunate but it’s very true. So the next time you see your dentist, try not to give them a hard time.

A handphone charging station? How convenient!

I commend the handphone charging station for saving calls.

Yeah it may seem a little geeky at first, and it may seem awkward if you’re standing next to a stranger who’s charging their cell phone too, but this is an excellent invention whether you like it or not!

I hear you mock, “But tis a machine for irresponsible lazy good-for-nothing Americans!”

This is the technology of the future! I carry an ancient phone with an ancient battery pack that needs charging every time I’m on the phone for at least an hour, so I give handphone charging station a thumbs up of approval and awesomeness.

The Golden Ratio on mah face.

Yeah, I have a Dunny layout I love those little dweebs.

I made a podcast about the “golden mean” (it has tons of names) for one of my art classes. If you want to check the video out you can click here, a fascinating subject if you haven’t heard of it yet

Also, I must reiterate that I do not have a lisp; it’s a cheap microphone.

When I was recording my voice for the project, I couldn’t help but notice how severely annoying it is for my hands to move as I talk. I talk with my hands. Hardcore. I couldn’t stop flicking and swooshing them back and forth. If someone were to tie my hands back, I would probably stumble on my words, hell, I probably couldn’t talk at all.

Well back to the topic, I found a female mask online that is based on the proportions of the golden mean (aka Golden Ratio Mask).
The mask fits flawlessly on Angelina Jolie’s face, yeah no surprise there. It also fits on my sister’s face like a perfect puzzle piece, so I’m thinking, if it’s going to fit on her then it’s going to fit on me.

The shocking results…

Lo and behold! I’m a golden reject!

Gotdamnit, nothings aligned with my face. According to nature’s standard of perfection and beauty and all things nice, I’m not hot. Ouch.

Yeah, whatever my mom thinks I’m beautiful! If you want to try on the mask yourself, the link is right here and let me know how it turns out.

Lazy Midnight Post

I watched Iron Man last night, and I’d love to write an in-depth review about it, but to be honest with you people, I royally suck at writing movie reviews. I’ve recently picked up a new hobby where I simply write in my journal about the movies I’ve watched, but I don’t think I’ve developed my own personal style yet.

If you want my straightforward opinion on it, I think it’s very entertaining to watch. And cha…there’s my evaluation on Iron Man.

Oh and I bought these intense horny reddish Escada frames, and it was only right for me to take sexy rawrr pictures with them on.

Does this make you randy?

Things to do:

1. Buy Dunny
2. Repaint mural
3. Be awesome

As an avid fan of zombies and Dunnys, artist Patricio Oliver released his very own Zombie Pet Dunny. It glows in the dark too.

Cheese and rice look at that beauty, it was clearly MADE for me. I’ve got to get me that hunk of vinyl before it gets sold out.

Last year, I painted this funky looking mural in my bedroom (see photo below) and now I want to paint something else…really bad. I hate waking up to that every morning. I mean look at that, it’s a piece of joke! Only toddlers and hippies who get high will find my mural to be worth looking at.

I think I’ve gotten better so pretty sure I can give this badboy a nice upgrade.

I might want to paint one or two gigantic bodies on my wall, instead of doing multiple characters, albeit I’m not so sure what to paint yet. Any suggestions?

Tiff’s manuel on dating Tiff #2: Quit calling me.

I don’t feel like I have to owe an explanation to a guy that I don’t want to talk to anymore if I’ve only met him once or twice.

You see there was this guy I met a club a while ago who I thought was uber sexy, and a terrific dancer (if I might add). We talked on the phone a couple of days after we met, and well, it turns out that he was pretty dumb. That’s a turnoff, btw. I thought the blandness of our conversation on the phone was a clear sign that we didn’t match, so I didn’t expect him to call me again.

Well he did eventually. I screened his call, because it’s the only rational thing I could do. Based on the level of our relationship—which was zero (there was no relationship to begin with)—I was not obligated to inform him we’re not compatible with each other and that we shouldn’t talk anymore.

Yeah it would totally suck to find out that you’ve just been rejected, but since there was absolutely no commitment involved, you’re supposed to bust a Jay-Z move and brush that dirt off yo shoulders. Move on to something else and if I decide to call you back, fine, that’s great.

This guy ended up calling my phone every other day for about two weeks, and I never answered once.

Exactly what part are you not able to grasp? If I’m not taking any of your calls, it has to mean something. If I like you, I will return your call-yeah, no shit, right? It should be a no brainer but it’s not for some, unfortunately. I’m not some vulnerable kidnapped victim who’s locked in a dark basement all day anxiously waiting for someone from the outside world to call me. But apparently, psycho over here has no commonsense whatsoever, and decides to abuse my number as if he was trying to sell me Viagra.

Fuck that, I’m not down with creepy callers and I’m not down with Viagra either.

Sometimes persistence isn’t the best idea to follow. You just gotta let some shit slide, or else your reputation gets dumped into the abyss of humiliation, where the rest of the creeps go.