I think I’m going to start writing my own instructions or manual, if you will, on dating me. Let’s face it, I haven’t had the greatest dates in a while and I think it’s mostly the guy’s fault in this type of situations that I’m in.

If I strongly believe that whatever will make or break the date, then I will write about it, starting now:

#1 NO tickle fights.

That is the worst thing you can ever do to me so cut that shit out. When the guy is in the middle of tickling you and you’re screaming things like, “No, no, seriously, stop, stop it you asshole…” he takes it to the opposite extreme and says, “Oh yeeeeah?” and kicks it up a notch and gives you the kind of tickles your uncle would give to you as a child. And you know uncles, they’re one of the most brutal motherfuckers on the planet are they not?