My older brother is truly the hardest person ever to shop for because he doesn’t like anything. I mean, really, this guy can be an asswipe.  He likes basically nothing and he’s brutally honest about it.  The best compliment he has ever used was “it’s alright”…but I’m not really sure.

I was having a lot of trouble figuring what I should get him for Christmas until I remembered that one of the extremely few things he actually likes are fishes and aquariums.  Yeah, what a nerd.  So yesterday, I went to a pet store and bought him a really cool fake rusty-antiquey looking anchor that I thought would look really awesome in his aquarium.

Last night, he had gotten home from his vacation in Big Bear and Vegas.  Him and his girlfriend eventually came into my room to give me the presents from them to open.  I ended up getting a book, perfume, and an air freshener.  I was excited about it.

After I had opened up my presents and had thank them muchly, I handed him the bag that contained his gift.

He opened the bag, took out his anchor and looked at it with a half-assed grin on his face.

“It’s something for your fish tank,” I smiled, also half-assed. “I thought an anchor would look really neat!”

“Aww, that’s really nice,” his girlfriend told me.

“I’m not going to use it,” replied my brother, the asswipe.

(five seconds of awkward and ever so humiliating silence)

“Well…I-uh-um…can I have it back then?” I gave out my hand, desperately trying not to look bothered. “I like it! I can use it for my bedroom. Yeah.”

He handed the failed Christmas present to me, and I walked away, in shame.

Frankly, I’m a little butt-hurt, but in a way, it was a good thing.  For if it wasn’t his cold and bleak honesty, the anchor would’ve been thrown right into the trash, never to be seen by humanity again. Instead, it is in my bedroom, safely displayed on top of my dresser for all to see:

But uh anyways…Merry Christmas and happy holidays everybody!

Alright…so I was only half-joking about being Snow White. I was actually planning to dress up as a zombie version of her, and I did!

A couple of days after writing that post, I stained the costume with spray paint,  splattered it with fake blood, destroyed it, and took Helga’s advice by showing SOME skin.

(Helga’s advice: LOL PLZ SLUTTIFY THE SNOW WHITE GOWN KTHX SHOW SOME TIFF TITS OR TIFF LEGS)

My Halloween night was pretty awesome. On Halloween Eve, I did goto a club, and during my time there, it reconfirmed why I hated clubs so much (future post). But the club wasn’t that shitty! I ended up unintentionally scaring a lot of broads at the club. I’d be dancing with my friends, and out of no where, I’d hear screams coming from next to me, only to find out that they were screaming because of me.

Being at the club = boring

but…scaring people at da club = win

Since the club kind of blows, we went to back to a friend’s house and played beer pong, and lots of it, until 5 A.M. It was actually my first time playing that game (I normally don’t drink)…and I think it was my first time getting drunk too.

This might be a stupid question, but…how do you know when you’re drunk?

Everything seemed a little shaky, so I did bump into a few things.  I was 100% aware of what I was doing, but my judgment might have been tweaked a little…hahaha.

I’d like to say I was really, really buzzed and borderline drunk, but I think I’m in denial.

On Halloween night, I went to a house party with a different group of friends, and it was way better and way funner than the the previous night. I didn’t drink at all either, so I do prefer sobriety over drunk…ness, any day.

Hi party people! This entry is going to quick and painless. I just want to wish all of my fellow Americans a happy fourth of July.

I’ll be sporting my patriotic pants (see photo below). I really dig them.

Have a safe night!