1. When I was little, I once drank a whole travel size bottle of mouth wash. I believe I was a little tipsy afterwards. And I believe my farts and burps smelled of minty freshness.

2. My first physical fight happened when I was six years old. My opponent, Michelle Tran, and I both wore adult sized boxing gloves. My memory of the incident is still clear as day. I remember the people who were watching and rooting for us (my older siblings and mostly our neighborhood gangbangers who made us duke it out), I remember where the punches were thrown, and unfortunately, I remember that I lost.

3. When I was four, my older sister thought it was funny to joke around by pretending to suck my brother into our vacuum. Since I thought what I had witnessed was real, it lead to my intense fear of vacuums that lasted for over ten years.

4. I had a pet African Grey Parrot named Ruby. I loved her! She would say a lot of things, even weird things, things that were never taught to her such as, “help meee!” She also liked making noises that sounded like she was coughing up a loogie (I have brothers). Ruby had a near death experience when I, accidentally, chopped her finger tip off with a nail clipper (I was cutting her nails and ended up going too far). She lost a lot of blood and her cage ended up looking like a brutal murder scene. I felt bad and her piercing bird-scream still haunts me to this day.

5. One of my earliest Internet friends was Jenalyn, whom I met on an networking website for kids called Freezone. When we were little, we both started making websites that is no different than my website today. All of the layouts were created using photoshop, and it also had an online diary, which is now called a blog. We met, literally, a decade ago, and we still keep in touch sometimes (via Myspace), and you have no idea how grateful I am for that.

6. The first zombie film I ever watched was “Night of the Living Dead” at the age of four or five, and I’ve been fascinated with zombies ever since. Prior to that, I had the proclivity to reenact the scene in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” where the chick runs to the abandon house and frantically shoves the furniture in front of the doors and windows, but only to find that it was no good when the zombies started crashing in. That has always been my favorite part. Epic.

7. In 1997 I founded The Dolphin Club, and in 1998 I co-founded The ‘N Sync Club which had a whopping total of two committed members.

8. Five years ago. Favorite haircut:

9. Five years ago. That haircut was forever destroyed by cutting it into a nasty mullet (thought it was a good idea at the time):

10. The very first time I said “fuck” was around the age of four. I was overhearing an action movie my sister was watching that had a lot of “fucks” and “fucking” in it. Funny thing is, that paricular word caught my interest, and even though I had practically no idea what it meant, it had given me the idea to yell, “Fuck my dad and fuck you!” during the film. When my sister heard it she shrieked and asked, “What did you say?!!?” And at that very moment I knew it was a word not to disclose in front of the adults, but rather to share with my classmates.

I was cleaning out my closet today and stumbled upon a small stack of journals I had written from the age of eight and all the way up to eighteen. Boy was I elated to see 10 years worth of written recollections buried at the bottom of my giant Tupperware box. I grabbed the oldest journal and before opening it, a flashback had already hit me. For reals!

It was the summer of 1996, a 99 Cent Store had finally opened for the first time around our area, which was a big deal for most of us, as decent houseware appliances selling only for a buck seemed too good to be true. I went to the new store with my two older sisters, and one of them, Diane, told me that I could have anything I wanted there. I was thrilled! And I was ready to shop.

When we arrived, I first remembered seeing how outrageously packed the place was, and how awesome and cartoony their shopping carts looked. Their carts weren’t like any other shopping carts you’d see in grocery stores where it’s all metal and banged up with rust. The ones at the 99 Cent store were made of plastic and were bright blue. I wanted to take one of them home with me so I can use it as my pretend car from the future, but that didn’t happen.

The overwhelming number of customers there made it difficult for me to look around, so my sister pointed at the journal section and suggested that I get one to write in it. I declined, but she coerced me into picking one. So I selected the journal that had a cover of a butterfly sitting on top of a purple flower. After my sister had bought the item for me she told me I had to write in it, at least once a week, and then I remember her saying, “You’ll thank me for this when you get older.”

And you know what? She’s right. She’s absolutely right. It’s just…I don’t know. Haha. The feeling you get when you read your own private writings from 12 years ago is purely indescribable.

I’ve been reading that journal I got from 99 Cent, and you know, it was pretty intense for a third grader.

I talked about my love and hate relationships:

If you can’t read my eight-year-old handwriting, it says:

Sept. 17, 1996 I have a crush on Shon. And he was in my class. But I never talk to him or play with him. But I wish I sit next with him.

It was later crossed out in darker ink, and under the entry it says, in the same dark ink:

Oct. 26. 1996 not any more

Foes:

I didn’t like one of the girls at my school, so I drew her as a slimy Medusa.  Those are snakes, btw.

Obligatory censorship:

And finally, my discovery of the online word usage “LOL”  in 2001:

My spelling has improved huh? (LOL) (LOL means)= Laugh Out Loud) Got it from chatting!

Man, I am so motivated to write in a journal again. Plus the 40-year-old me can go back and read it and say, “Man, that 21-year-old me, what a hoot!”

I think I need braces again.  I still wear my retainers every night, but my teeth are slooowly going back to its original spot, which is making me a little nervous. I had crazy, whitetrash buckteeth. It didn’t help that one of the cards from Garbage Pail Kids had “Tusky Tiffany” either.

I wouldn’t mind wearing braces right now actually (Visaline is too expensive). I really liked it as a teenager. The pain felt quite nice (I know, I’m a creep!).

The only thing I hated about it, is that, when I would talk to strangers, they would usually bring up the topic of braces, asking if it’d hurt and stuff, which is fine, but they’d also ask, “Why do you need braces for? You don’t need them.”

Can you believe that shit? I usually say, “I ono” because giving them an honest answer might make them think that I’m trying to be a smartass.

“Because braces make your teeth straight…um yeah.”