I was at school, sitting on the benches while trying to call the theater arts teacher until someone tapped on my shoulder from behind and asked if he could interview me for a class project. I answered, “Sure, why not?” He then sits across from me and asks me some intrusive questions related to dating, and sure enough, each of my answers turned into a discussion.

During my “interview” I learned a few things about my interviewer. He’s like a chick, and he even admits it. He likes romantic movies. He read “The Notebook” once and cried at the end. Chick, much? I think so.

At the very end of our conversation, he jumps up and says, “Man, you’re like a dude!”

“That’s it? That’s your conclusion? That’s great…”

“Well don’t take it as an insult, I’m the chick, remember?” He looks at his cellphone then puts it back in his pocket, “Well hey, I better get going, but I really enjoyed talking to you, and thank you.”

“Yeah no problem.” I shake his hands. “Nice meeting you.”

“Actually, mind if I get your number?”

“For reference? Sure!” We both laugh. He hands me his blackberry and after punching in my number I gave it back to him.

“Just promise me you won’t have a crush on me.”

“What?”

“I have a girlfriend,” A smile crossed his lips.

“Then why are you asking for my number?!”

“Because you seem really cool, and I’d love to get to know you more as friends.”

“Ok, I don’t mind being friends, but here’s the deal, delete my number now or tell your girlfriend that you asked for my number.”

“Yeah, ok,” he nodded, “I’m really open with her.”

The following day, he called my number.  Feeling rather uncomfortable about the situation, I screened it, and then text him, “Can’t talk at the moment, what did you want?”

He replies, “Just wanted to say hi ”

Phone number deleted.

Sorry, but is this still me being paranoid and all-up-in-the-ass or does that really sound shady? ‘Cause I’ll be damned if my boyfriend did that.  Maybe guys and girls can probably be just friends, but really, I think it can be easily misinterpreted as something more depending on the situation.

I ended up meeting another guy prior to that, who also wasn’t single. We had gotten along as friends that we ended up talking on the phone. I knew he only saw me as a friend, and only as a friend, because flirtation was never really implicated on both ends. The only problem now is…well…I’m the one who’s starting to develop a little crush.

Maybe the real question to this blog isn’t “Can guys and girls really be friends?” rather it should be “Can Tiff really be friends with guys?” :-/

Also, I found a big poster at my boss’s desk of “21 Suggestions for Success” by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

After reading the first one,

Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

I thought, “Yeah man, that’s so true!”

followed by a…

“HLY SHIT THAT’S SCARY!”

How do you know when you meet the right person?

I hate it when people answer, “You just know.” But maybe it’s true. I just tend to be really logical that sometimes I think I’m a robot without much emotion, and well, love is anything but that.

I need to be enlightened.

Tiff: How are you and your girlfriend?
Tony: We’re not together anymore. We’re on a break.
Tiff: Oh sorry to hear that.
Tony: Naw it’s cool.  I love her a lot.
Tiff: …then why are you guys on a break?
Tony: Because she said that she wants to be completely focused on school.

Sorry “Tony”, but like I said before in our conversation, I think the whole “going on a break” thing is complete bullshit.  I don’t think the idea itself is bullshit, the explanation behind it, however, IS.

Tony’s girlfriend doesn’t want to be in a relationship at the moment because she wants to concentrate on her schoolwork. I mean, what the hell is this crap?  Is she seriously THAT dumb that she can’t handle a boyfriend and school at the same time, yet she has room for “girl’s night out” every weekend?

It just goes to show you how most people have this screwed up concept of how a relationship is suppose to work.  I was listening to the radio a couple of months ago and one of the callers asked for advice about his fiancé.  He loves painting, but his fiancé would never let him, because she’s constantly complaining how she feels neglected by him whenever he works on his art stuff. I mean, shit, let the guy fucking paint. Arts and crafts usually does take a long time to finish.

Having a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t you mean you have to spend quality time with them every single day.  It doesn’t mean you have to call them 24/7.  It doesn’t mean that you have to be the annoying boyfriend who checks up on his girl every time she’s not within screaming distances, right?

If this is how a relationship should be, then I certainly don’t want to be in one.

I met a crazy lady at a park about two days ago and she frantically warned me to take a long vacation outside of the state as soon as possible. She predicted that there’s going to be a massive earthquake that’s going to take place in southern Cali soon and it’s going one of the deadliest ones that will kill hundreds of thousands of lives.

I thanked her, but I didn’t listen to her warnings since she was crazy.

Two days later, which was today, the moment when everything around me started to shake and wobble, I thought, “Maybe that crazy lady isn’t so crazy…fucking mother of shit WE’RE GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

We’re ok.

The earthquake lasted about 10-15 seconds here, and the terrifying experience has lead me to prep myself for the next potential disaster. Since we have a baby in the house, my sister and I talked about it and we made notes of the best spots in our house to hide under if it ever happens.

The plan sounds effective and all, but I even asked her, “What if I’m in the middle of taking a shit and all that goes down?”

I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything but has anyone ever thought of that? Has anyone ever died or gotten injured by getting clobbered by the falling ceilings while they’re trying to shit?

Man, that’s the one of the WORST time of the day to have an earthquake. I sure hope that doesn’t happen to any of us.