Well this is going to be quick and painless guys, I just wanted to wish a Happy Chinese and Vietnamese New Years to those who celebrate it.

I’ll be looking forward to spending time with family and relatives, eating good Asian food, receiving those goody little red envelopes (lì xì), and definitely, definitely will look forward to gambling in a game of bau cua.

We (about 18 of us) started the night by eating at Elephant Bar. I was sitting in the middle so I got to interact with both sides of the table. One side kept on talking about how incredible “Slumdog Millionaire” was so, of course, they left me no choice but to butt in and say, “Dude, I’m so with you on that. Remember the part where little Jamal raised his arm in the air with the photo of that one Indian actor, screaming at the top of his lungs and he’s like, covered in shit? That was awesome.”

The other side of the table was telling jokes at one point. I’ve been told that I can do a very convincing accent of an annoying Chinese man, so I did say a couple of things to them, in that particular accent, and they got a kick out of it. It reconfirmed that I do, in fact, possess a magnificent gift of impersonating a stereotypical Chinese man.

My friend, Jason, and I shared a large plate of fried shrimps together. The food was good. Not bad, not amazing, but good. As for our waitress, shit, talk about having a stick up her ass. She didn’t like us! It was odd because none of us were being anal or impolite to her. When we asked her for something, her facial expression would change from slightly grumpy to extremely petulant. When I asked for a to-go box she would come back 15 minutes later with nothing in her hands!

Perhaps it is the burden of catering to a large group of 18, but still, she should have at least put on a fake smile or something and not emit her bitchassness towards us.

To make up for her dreadful service and lack of civility, we got her to take some photos of us. Here’s one of them:

I’d say that’s a damn good photo. Thank you waitress, you just might be able to redeem yourself…now give me a gawddman to-go box so I can eat my shrimp leftovers for lunch tomorrow!

After dinner we headed towards the Embassy Suites for the hotel party. Since we weren’t able to hook up the Wii to their TV, we decided to play some drinking games. The first was King’s Cup. I’ve played that a few times before, and this one, in particular, was the most entertaining, the most hysterical King’s Cup I had ever played…ever. I wish I can explain what had happen in detail, but it wouldn’t be that funny on paper, it’s more like, ya had to be there type of stuff. But what I will say is that there has never ever been a time where I didn’t pick the 4th King. Never, and that kind of blows for me.

I recorded a great video of Pris getting sprayed by silly strings at the hotel, and also edited it to make it more entertaining. But I’ve been trying to upload it on Youtube for the last several times, and it doesn’t seem to be uploading it. Bleh! What a bitch. I will post the video once I find a solution. For now, enjoy the “teaser stills”.

Update 1-19-09: The video! Hip hip hooray!

First one is about a young girl who performed “Ode to Motherland” during Beijing’s opening. It was a delightful performance, but it turns out that she was lip-syncing! Lip-syncing wasn’t the problem actually, because the voice that was used belonged to a some other little girl, Yang Peiyi, and she wasn’t used because she wasn’t cute enough.

At first, I laughed. I know, I’m a jerk, it was pure comedy for me, but as I kept thinking about the situation and how Yang would’ve felt, my heart just dropped for the poor little undercover singer.

I can only imagine how the conversation had went…

“Hey Tiff, we love your voice, but we found a much cuter chick that’ll make this country look better. She can’t sing for shit, so we’re going to use your voice for her to lip-sync. Thanks!”

Yeah you’re welcome you selfish superficial sucking cocks!

When I first heard about it, I thought, “Man, this girl must be ugly as hell for them to only use her voice”, but when I looked at her photo and the photo of the imposter, I couldn’t even tell the difference between the two, except one’s hair is longer than the other, but other than that, all kids look a like:

Second story is about underage gymnasts from China. In order to participate in gymnastics for the Olympics you have to be at least 16 years old, but some of the girls of the Chinese Olympic team are supposedly younger than that.

China is denying the reports saying legal documents were shown, but I say fuck the documents. Fuck it. The cold hard evidence is THEM. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that these girls haven’t even reached the age of 16 yet.

You decide:

Sixteen my ass. I could pass for their mother if I looked sixteen again.

And third, is this picture of Spain’s basketball team doing slit-eyed gestures:

They don’t consider it to be inappropriate, but have they ever thought about the possible countless negative reactions that they’re about to receive from other people?

They remind me of the kind of friends I use to have that would make racist remarks right in front of you and they’d be about your or your background, but they have no idea that it could be incredibly offensive, and because it was not their intentions to hurt you, you can only forgive them for being so dumb.

Yeah, that’s how I see it with those guys. If they didn’t mean to insult us, then I can let it slide, but still, that’s a pretty dumb picture, assholes.