The smell of babies: I know that sounds creepy but they do smell really good–anyone who has never even kissed a baby on the cheek in their life is seriously missing out on some pretty awesome stuff.  I spend a lot of time with my one-year-old niece (pic below) and her skin is just naturally fresh and lovely all the time. I don’t know what it is with babies and their scent. I figure babies are like brand new cars. They smell really nice and new in the beginning, but as time goes by, everything slowly starts turning into old, smelly fermenting shit. I know I start to smell like shit if I don’t put on deodorant–babies don’t have to. They’re brand new!

Enjoy your baby scent while it last, kiddo.

Changing: I’m the kind of person who will rearrange the positioning of their furniture every 3-4 months because I CANNOT stand stagnation. Keeping things the “same” is simply uninteresting, lame and boring. It’s not just furniture either, it’s practically everything in my life. Before I didn’t have to pay a crap-ton of bills, I could afford seeing a hairstylist every three months so they can dye and cut my hair into a completely drastic look. Currently, I’ve had this black long hair far too long and I’m just itching to go back to the salon and turn into a new woman.

Tiff, in blonde flavor, circa '07.

Watching pastry chefs handle dough: Ever since I was a kid, I was always fascinated with dough and how they were used in baking pastries. I don’t really know why, I just think it’s cool. First off, touching dough alone feels really orgasmic to me. It’s soft, delicate, and putty–I would probably try motorboating it if nobody was looking. And secondly, watching the chefs on those cooking documentaries play with them to make really delicious pastries is just a whole new level of awesome.

Building (girly) robots: In one of my older posts, I mentioned finding a new hobby which was putting gundam models together. I’m pretty sure some people thought I never started on it, but I already finished making three awesome little models! I love working with gundams that lean towards the “cuter” side. The next one I will be working on will be a unicorn-hybrid, but that shouldn’t be surprising anymore.

Don't fuck wit Team Fabulous

Rollerblading: Ah, rollerblading is quite special to me. One of my favorite things about rollerblading is that I always get strange looks from people all the time, who are possibly thinking, “Rollerblades still exist?” Yes, they do. Few. They’re generally used by children and white suburban men in their 50′s, but that still counts right?

Back then, I use to rollerblade a lot with the other kids in my old neighborhood. Once, when I was only six, we were rollerblading together out in the streets and I just remembered all of us ending up skating back to our houses for our lives because apparently a man was chasing us down, he wanted to kidnap one of us (we were all very young girls). Seriously, that was terrifying for me. Good thing we out-bladed that sick pedophilin’ bastard.

I probably have a wedgie but rollerblading makes me not give any fucks.

Jayne did her list, and now here’s mine! WeeeeeEe

5. January Jones

"Hi, I'm beautiful, and I'm not really going to drink this milk."

Simple, gorgeous and sophisticated–she is the definition of classic beauty. I first heard about January during the time when Jason Sudeikis was banging her, but it was the movie Unknown (2011) that had gotten her my full attention. I couldn’t help but notice how little or simple her makeup was in the movie because she still managed to look like a perfect ten (HOW DO DEY DO DAT?!)

I get a sense that she’s assertive and confident…or perhaps just a stubborn and uptight woman. I don’t know, I’m really just judging off from a funny quote of her’s when asked about bitches and high school: “Where are you getting this shit? It sounds like something I might have said when I was, like, 15. The bitches in high school were bitches because I was pretty.”

Say what you will, but the blunt & bitchy attitude vibe I get from her is more entertaining instead of annoying, and it just makes her that more desirable (it also helps that she’s basically Emma Frost, can’t wait to watch the movie!).

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With all of the sarcastic hype that’s going around because of the supposed Rapture (dun…dun…DUN!!!!), I can’t really help but join the bandwagon and make fun of its absurdity with the rest of the world. But since I use to have a border-line obsession with the apocalypse, I think it’s a little bit fun to think about the possibility of the world coming to an end no less than 24 hours from now. Real or not, I think all of our lives have gotten a little bit more exciting because of this…or maybe it’s just me and my boring life.

If this whole entire thing was real, if Harold Camping’s calculations were right all along, this is how I would’ve taken advantage of my time left here on this earth:

1. Keep stuffing my face with food

Yes, I love food very much. Knowing that the world would end in 24 hours, there will be no shame, no guilt to devouring every food on sight until my body can’t take it anymore.

For breakfast, I’d make myself a nice, big hearty meal. I’d have chocolate chip covered pancakes, bacon, hash browns, sunny side up eggs, and I’ll wash it all down with a nice tall glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. For lunch, I’d have Korean BBQ. For appetizers, I’d have fried potato skins. For dinner, Shabu Shabu. And for dessert, I would have anything that is French-influenced, like cream puffs, fondant au chocolate, cream bulee and the like. Oh it would be so amazing.

2. Spend quality time with my family

I think “quality time” to me would be simply giving each of my family members a really big and long bear hug (as I try to hold in my tears). Because nothing says, “Everyone’s going to die tomorrow soo here’s an I love you!” like a bear hug.

3. Tell my friends how much they really mean to me

I have few friends, but they’re really good friends. We’re typically not the type to be emotional and mushy to each other. Like, we’re not the kind of girls who’d say, “Hey, did I ever tell you that you are an astounding person? Thank you for being my friend.” It’s more like, “Dude, you just volley punched that guy in the nads like Ip Man. You’re awesome.”

A time like this, I would certainly have to be more vulnerable, open and thank them for being my true buddies.

4. Try illegal substances

First off, I have never touched a single drug in my entire life, ever (besides the medication for my allergies I get at CVS Pharmacy!). I am 100% clean and I have no intentions of experimenting with anything illegal whatsoever. But. If I knew for sure our lives would end the following day, I’d say, “F-ck it, it’s the end of the world, let’s get shitfaced with shrooms, LSD, and possibly coke.” In reality though, I probably wouldn’t know where the hell to get any of these things I just mentioned. Um, I guess I’ll stick with my cream puffs then.

5. Take a nice, long, lazy nap with my boyfriend

Two things I love the most: My boyfriend (I know, I know, awwwwwww) and taking naps.

Naps are one of the greatest things nature has given to us, so with the remaining time I have left, I would definitely like to end my night…er I mean life, with a really good nap while my boyfriend spoons me.  I also don’t really want to be awake when shit starts hitting the fan–I rather nap my way through the Rapture, thanks.