I just kind of realized how immature I am.

Like, farting is hilarious. I always get a kick out of listening and telling true fart stories to people. Farting and then passing it to your friend via waving-hand motion is really satisfying.

Naked artsy people make me giggle–but I try to giggle on the inside since it’s not really nice to laugh at naked artsy people. I took a life drawing class last year, and it took me a while not to look like I was trying to hold my breath (from laughing) every time a model disrobed in front of the class.

I like pressing buttons, more specifically, unfamiliar buttons, buttons I’ve never pressed before (omfg), just to see what it would trigger. The anticipation is the best part, but sometimes the outcome of pressing a button can be really anticlimactic, aka the one’s that doesn’t work.

And the worst of all (I cringe as I begin to type the inevitable), I own guns…toy guns. Though uh I really don’t feel like explaining what I do with them.

Oh yeah true story, when the workers were cleaning out my bedroom for renovation, the cute younger one came up to me with a box and asked, “Did you want to keep these with you?” Confused, I glanced at the box and noticed that he was holding a box of my toy guns. If there was ever a time I wanted to kill myself, it would be that time.

And the point of all this? Nothing really, I just don’t want to work on my finals. Carry on.

PS – I am still screwed.

Yesterday, went to the bug fair for the very first time (101 Thing #2 COMPLETED SCHWEET!) and wanted to do two things while I was there: Hold a tarantula and a millipede.

I got to hold a tarantula (though a small one) and two hissing cockroaches, but no millipede! I might have to add that to my 101 Things. Handle a millipede. Simply because I think they’re awesome and I’d imagine it would feel quite orgasmic to have all their little legs crawl on my arms.

/creepy

I have just two more pieces to make for my portfolio. Here are some of the most recent ones I’ve finished:

Daft Punk: 100% gradient mesh, done in Illustrator.  I don’t think I ever want to do gradient mesh again.

Wall Cop: Photoshop. Yes, that is Robocop and Wall-E looking ever so…attracted to each other?

Book of Dwight Schrute’s Greatest Quotes: It’s fake, but boy do I wish it was real. Photoshop too.

Now for some worthy plugs, if you haven’t yet, visit AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

It’s so great that I made my whole Illustrator class visit the website at the same time, including the professor.

And last, your business card is CRAP:

Possibly one of the best burger joints I’ve been to, The Counter lets you custom build your own delicious, juicy, heart attack burger of death.

A few of my buddies and I went there for the very first time last Saturday and we enjoyed every single minute of it, from the moment it touches the tip of our tongues to the second it gets metabolize by our stomach acids (Dwight Shrute ftw!).  It is so delightfully fulfilling that it really feels like you’ve already eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner for the following day.

Here are the pictures of some of our uniquely crafted, individualized burgers:

Man, I really needed that.  It was the perfect plate to eat right before starting #10 on 101 Things: Eat only mom’s healthy and non-delicious food for two whole weeks.

Reading that nearly had my gag reflex kick into over-drive.

Gugh!

(What the hell was that?)

Gugh!

(That’s the sound of my gag on the internetz)

I eat out more than half of the time because I don’t like most of the food that my mom makes.  Sorry mom, I love you, but I don’t love your cooking .  The meat’s always dried and overcooked.  You like putting guacamole and tomatoes in everything.  You cook too much fish and it stinks up the whole neighborhood.  And the snacks and desserts offered to me usually consists of oranges, apples and broccoli. Broccoli.

Basically, her stuff is pretty bland and predictable.  The only good thing about all the food she puts together is it’s actually somewhat healthy.  There’s not a whole lot of grease/fat;  it’s just there for you to survive.  As a child, I was really thin, thin as a tooth-pick as most would say, and I put the blame on the food that she has been feeding me all these years.

But ever since I’ve been old enough to diss her cooking by getting my preferred food, I’ve been gaining weight.  And gaining weight for me isn’t really bad, it’s just the food that I typically eat is entirely the opposite from my mom’s…fattening and greasy, and boy do I indulge.

Since I should save money (I don’t really have a job) and eat healthy, my goal is to eat nothing but of her food for a minimum two weeks, by that time, I should be adapted to her stuff, thus eating more of it…gugh!

For the past two days, I’ve been eating this:

From left to right:

-Sad and dried “pasta” with dried chicken and chopped up tomatoes.
-Sandwich with ham and only ham
-Yet another sandwich with ham…but WAIT!  It’s got wheat bread and some lettuce this time.

Is that mouthwatering or what?